


Our Stolen Souls

by PandaGod03



Series: Panda God's BillDip Collection [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: 1) Apocalypse AU, 2) College/Coffee Shop AU, 3) Meeting the Parents, 4) Tumblr Prompt, Angst, Anyway here's the contents in order:, BillDip, Every story is so long oml I am so sorry, Fluff, I literally cannot write short stories, M/M, Woop there it is, cipherpines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:11:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 39,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaGod03/pseuds/PandaGod03
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of long/sometimes short BillDip fluff (and angst cough cough I can't do fluff without angst you know) written from prompts on Tumblr, when I was bored, and etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: "Haaaaaaaaiii~ I heard you were on tumblr now, so again, hai Panda God!! I seriously love your works oh my God I'm not even kidding. Anyway, if you can, you really don't have to, but can you do a short billdip story with them in the apocalypse? I saw this otp prompt where they sing you are my sunshine or something. You don't have to do it, I just think it would be awesome if you did."
> 
> Ahhh, thank you, Anon!!! You guys are quick, damn that's awesome. Naturally I had to make the first ask in my Tumblr inbox as ASAP. I'm sorry if you didn't want it too long, but here. (I didn't know if you wanted angst or fluff so-)

"Bill!" cried the weaker boy. "Bill, slow down! I- I can't-"

"Yes, you can," huffed the blond in front of him. Strong, callused fingers latched onto his skinny, bony wrist, pulling him roughly along until he almost face-planted into the ground. " _Move it, Pines!_ "

Dipper gulped down air into his lungs, his chest aching so badly that it felt as if someone dropped a ten ton anvil on him.

Honestly, it didn't even matter. He let Bill pull him along, dragging him down the narrow streets of the abandoned town like he knew it from the back of his hand. They weaved through street lamps, jumped short fences, went through corners.

Each step they took was a death march, and they both knew it.

"Bill," the brunet sobbed out, "they're-" He wheezed, "-right behind-" _Wheeze_ , "-us."

"I know," the blond gritted out in between his teeth. " _I know._ "

Dipper tried to let out his words one last time, to speak to his only companion, to tell him what he was thinking. What Bill was thinking. 

It was no use, to be running away from the mutants like this. They were going to die, slowly, carefully, chewed out by the people they all once knew. There was no coming out of this, and even with Bill's thick-headed skull, he knew it too. He just refused to believe it.

A few years ago, when Dipper Pines was only twelve, he was moved to Gravity Falls, Oregon to live with his Grunkles, Stan and Ford, with his own twin sister. He didn't know exactly why, of course, until he caught his Grunkles arguing downstairs in hushed whispers. He remembered feeling Mabel's nails dig into his bicep, both siblings coming closer and closer together the more they heard of the argument.

An apocalypse, known as Weirdmageddon, had already begun. It had taken over California and every state below it, manifesting over every single area slowly, manipulating bodies, turning families against each other. It manifested in brains, whispering things into peoples' minds until it turned them insane, turned them into thoughtless zombies with nothing in their minds but to kill, to eat other humans and family members like disgusting animals.

They were worst than the slow, groaning zombies portrayed on television. No, these mutants were one hundred times worst. They were agile, they were fast, they could detect a human easily like a predator looking for prey. And worst of all, they acted so, so much like their human counterparts. They could speak, act and talk like their old self, until they would turn on their friend and eat them until bones were the only thing left behind of the poor fool.

The lump in Dipper's throat grew. _Stan, Ford, his parents, Mabel-_

Nails dug into both of his shoulders, nails that were grimy and dirty, different from his human companion's. Dipper couldn't even let out a scream as one of those _things_ pulled him backward, his wrist slipping away from Bill's grasp.

He felt the hot breath and saliva dripping on his exposed neck hungrily, like a vampire ready to bite in. He didn't dare turn his head to see who this person was, if he ever knew them at all anymore. Over the course of five years, the humans bodies rotted, the putrid smell of urine and puke the only thing left to show that they were ever alive.

Dipper closed his eyes, already accepting his fate that he was going to die. Everyone was eventually going to, and it was even a wonder to him how he survived this long. He was weak, significantly less strong than the ones who once walked with him.

There was a loud crunch, nails that dug into his shoulders leaving as the creature was smacked across the wall next to him.

Dipper turned around with widened eyes, scrambling backwards in a crab walk for his dropped hand gun. He felt cool metal touch his finger tips, and grabbed hold onto it like a life line as he blinked the red tint away from his eyes.

Bill raised his ax over his head, yelling a raw scream as he brought it down on the ghoul's skull. Then he brought it down again, and again, and again until the head was nothing but black choppy meat and liquid. It looked like a watermelon being squashed, although watermelons shouldn't bring that urine smell and black-inked color.

Dipper didn't even flinch looking down at the killed monster, watching the blood trail over to him in a small line, much like a river. He stayed down for God-knows-how-long, mouth slackened, eyes wide. 

He looked up, and flinched. 

Bill's eye- oh God, his eye. He only had one eye, the other covered by a white gauze soaked with blood through the middle, but that remaining eye was a scary sight, looking down at the body with nothing short of malice. His jaw clenched, his scar looking darker in the sunlight. He looked like a psychopath, with the way he was holding his ax to the side, and with the way his face was ready to kill another.

Dipper withered when Bill's eye flickered back over to him. But Bill's bloodcurdling gaze turned to one of worry, and he breathed, "Are you alright?"

The brunet nodded mutely, feeling his hands shake slightly as he stood up. Bill watched him carefully, one eye glinting with the mischief Dipper fell in love with unintentionally so many years back. For a moment, all he remembered was days on the roof top with Bill, looking down at the chaos with laughter and smiles, drinking wine despite their age. 

He forgot, even for a moment, that those moments were gone forever. The apocalypse was a joke back then, but with everyone dead...

Dipper's body was pushed to side once more, but this time by someone saving his life instead of taking it. He was pushed through a narrow door, one that squeaked and groaned as Bill kicked it open. 

Dipper stumbled inside, and before he could ask questions, the door was shut tight right behind them.

Not even a moment later, the door pounded heavily with a fist being thrown against it. Then another joined. Then another. Until, it was an orchestra of pounding and pummeling, groans and inhumane screams of frustration.

"Fucking pigs," Bill sneered, pounding against the door himself to taunt the creatures.

In return, the door groaned underneath its new weight, and Bill's eyebrow rose in challenge. "Wow, 'don't have to be rude," he chuckled, turning around on one heel as he put his black-stained ax against the wall.

Dipper watched in frozen shock as Bill brushed past him, looking around the abandoned area with a searching eye. He didn't know what his boyfriend was looking for, nor did he particularly care.

He didn't really care about anything, really.

You see, his heart was pounding with three hundred beats per minute. His breathing was labored, his head was pounding stronger than having eighteen tall glasses of alcohol. His vision, oh my, his vision. It was tinted red, and not the color you see when you were angry. It was the color of blood, the dark, dark blood that looked almost close to black. 

It wasn't normal. Of course it wasn't normal, because it was all the signs of turning. 

He was bit, two months ago, just a small graze on his first layer of skin against the front of his leg as he ran for his life for the third time that week with Bill. 

Dipper never told him. How could he? How fucking _could he?_

His back slid against smooth wood (a dresser, he guessed), and buried his hands into his face. He felt the sobs break out through his chest before he heard them, his ears popping with his own, dead heart beat. 

And when he looked up, when he had the strength to just so he could wipe his tears before Bill could yell at him for being a coward in the apocalypse yet again, Dipper saw what he was doing. Bill was chaining up the door, pressing the chains hard against the knob and the supports next to the door to make X's, to secure them inside the abandoned shelter. 

Dipper looked around, sniffling as he tried to get an idea where the hell they could be this time. Of course, they were in an abandoned warehouse, filled with random furniture and pawn stuff abandoned at the time of Weirdmageddon. The place was dark, no electricity since the outage years ago, leaving dust everywhere and anywhere. It reminded him of his Great Uncle's Shack, a tourist trap with items much like the ones in this. And with remembering the Shack, he remembered Mabel, his Grunkles, the times they were  _alive_ and-

A sudden rip tore Dipper's eyes away from a broken bike in the corner of the vast dusty room, his neck snapping over to the sound. Bill had just found a matchbox, lighting up a single stick and bathing the room in a warm, ember glow. 

He crouched down carefully, dipping the stick to the candle on the table right beside Dipper's sitting form. The candle immediately lit up, making the room seem larger with its much bigger light. But as it made it look larger, it also made the room look scarier. And lonely.

"There, that's better," Bill said proudly, putting his hands on his hips. He would have looked like a typical proud father after completing IKEA furniture, if it wasn't for the blood stained right across his extremely dirty white shirt, his ripped jeans matted with soot and dark red, his knees scraped and covered in his own blood. A proud father in the apocalypse then. The thought made Dipper genuinely happy.

Bill brushed past Dipper with two fingers over his chin in thought, eyebrow raised and other hand on hip. He looked like an art spectator, and Dipper had to stop himself from laughing. That was the only reason Dipper still chose to be here. Bill always got these looks on his face, or posed in ways that reminded Dipper of everyday, normal people. A salesman, a chef, a whiny spoiled rich kid. Everyday, Bill changed, and it gave Dipper the imagination and possibility that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay again. 

Dipper brought his knees up to his chest, burying his face in them as he looked at the dirty ground. No. Nothing would be okay again. Nothing would be the same.

"Oh look!" Bill exclaimed, making Dipper's head swivel over to him. 

Bill pointed at a monkey and fish hybrid, snorting and picking up the tiny figure and pointing at it to show Dipper. "It's like your Grunkle Stan's old baits, amirite or amirite?"

Dipper couldn't help but snort himself, shaking his head and burying his nose back into his knees in thought. Bill was childish, extremely childish at that. Even in the worst possible time, he found ways to find humor. 

Of course, that was only if Dipper was safe. If Dipper was up on a tree, safe and sound, and he was being chewed up alive, he would have looked up at Dipper and grinned, "Top of the morning to ya, Pine Tree!"

Dipper closed his eyes, inhaling through his nose then exhaling. His chest went up, then down. Everything was okay. He was okay. He was fine. Bill's fine. At least, for now. That's all that matters.

"Whoa!" Bill said, accompanied by a chortle of laughter as he wound up a clapping monkey toy and set it down on the desk it was on. It began clapping its little instrument, and Bill laughed louder, his hooting laugh filling the musky air. 

Outside, the monsters were quiet. Dipper didn't know if that was a good sign or not. 

"Pine Tree," snorted the blond. Dipper almost groaned out loud, looking up. Bill was holding up a pair of underwear, tightened lips that told him that the boy was trying his best not to laugh. "Put this on your Grunkle Stan and he'll be the Sascrotch."

Bill laughed at his own pun, rubbing away a fake tear and tossing the underwear away on the ground carelessly. He kept walking around, his footsteps echoing around the enormous warehouse. He was getting farther and farther away from Dipper, and each step away from the boy was making Dipper's heart pound more and more heavier. 

 _Don't-_ he almost said out loud, _don't leave me alone here._

The words sounded ridiculous in his head, and he bit them back. He was already too clingy towards his only friend, and he didn't want to sound more like a five year old kid than he already was. And besides, Bill was just exploring the area out of boredom so they could wait out the crowd outside of the building. 

Nothing bad was going to happen to Bill. Right? Right?

Oh God. What if there was a monster hiding somewhere in the back and Dipper wouldn't be there to warn him? Oh no, no, no- his ax. Shit, his ax! What if Bill was attacked, what was Bill going to use? No, no, no, _no, no_ -

"Hey Pine Tree!" chirped a cheery voice. 

Dipper felt his worries wash away at his happy tone, and squinted as he looked up, looking for the source of the voice. "What?" he asked, forcing his voice to sound disinterested and bored, as if he wasn't just worrying for the safety of his boyfriend just a moment ago. 

"Do you prefer black or navy?"

"Uh- wha-?" Dipper asked in confusion, furrowing his brow. What kind of question was _that?_ Well, it was Bill he was dealing with, anyway. Supreme Overlord of Randomness, as Bill Cipher called himself. The self-centered bastard always had a knack for pretending he was the ruler of everything on Earth and beyond, and it was a game they always played on the road.

"If I ruled this particular area, we're rebuilding the roads," Bill had told him with a wrinkled nose as they walked down a deserted highway to Washington all those months ago. They had such high hopes for help back then.

"Every road is like this now, Bill," Dipper had scoffed at him. Bill grinned at him, turning his head to look at Dipper with his hands gripping the ax gripping harder.

"If I ruled the world," Bill had asked him right after, tilting his head at Dipper, "would you rule beside me?"

"Of course you dumb idiot," Dipper huffed. "I'm your only partner now, you know. But there's- there's technically nothing to rule over anymore."

"Then we'll repopulate the Earth!" Bill had excitedly told him. There was that hope in his eyes, the excitement of living a full life with the love of his entire galaxy. "We'll bring orphans in, Pine Tree, we'll teach them how to fend for themselves and survive on their own like the greatest parents we'll ever be! Hell, we can tell them about the life we used to live, tell them all about it so they could rebuild it with us."

Bill's eyes softened, his face smiling softly at his only happiness and sanity left. Dipper watched him out of the corner of his eye, refusing to meet Bill's gaze lest he turned into a blushing idiot. Bill's eyes never left his that day, watching him carefully, closely with a look that made Dipper's heart skip two beats. He thought Bill wouldn't say anything, since he technically didn't for longer than the blond had probably originally intended. 

"We can rebuild a world where you could be safe and smiling," Bill told to him after a long moment, voice suddenly quiet. If Dipper didn't know Bill personally, he would have never caught the shakiness that accompanied the blond's voice. "I can sleep at night knowing that you were okay and you were happy."

"Black it is!" cried out a familiar voice, jarring Dipper back to reality. "It matches with mine, anyway!"

And then Bill emerged, wearing a white long-sleeved dress shirt and new black slacks as he adjusted the obsidian colored tie around his collar. New polished shoes too, matching his clean-cut appearance. Over his shoulder was a black suit jacket, a simple white shirt, and black slacks. How Bill could balance all those over one shoulder, Dipper didn't know. Or, how he found them all clean and fresh.

Bill licked his hand, slicking back his hair in a messy fashion. And while Dipper thought it was absolutely, crazily dorky, his heart leaped in his chest.

Sadly, the apocalypse did nothing to dampen young-adult hormones. 

His boyfriend, after messing up his blond hair as best as he could in the most stylish way as he could, looked over to Dipper with that smug half-smile of his. _Shit,_ Dipper thought, feeling his cheeks heat up as he kept staring at his lover, _he has dimples._

Okay, why did the world giving him a cute ass companion with _dimples?_

Fuck, he was screwed over.

Bill went over to him, striding with a feline's gracefulness. He tossed the suit jacket, slacks, and white shirt at Dipper. "I'm going to change into a blazer," Bill told him casually, "dress up, Pine Tree. Or I'll do it myself."

"I told you to stop calling me Pine Tree," Dipper groaned at him, "I lost my hat two years ago."

"I don't care," Bill shrugged, "a pine tree doesn't stop being a pine tree when it says so, you know."

Dipper glared at him, who in return, gave him a mocking grin. Bill turned on a heel, away to the darkness the candle couldn't reach so he could change into whatever it was he wanted. 

Dipper rolled his eyes, putting the clothes by his side. He crossed his arms, staying put and doing absolutely nothing as he waited for Bill to come back. So Bill wanted to play that game, huh? Yeah, well, he can too. He was as stubborn as Bill was, maybe even more. 

And so Bill came back, sporting a sharp blazer that broaden his shoulders and made him look more over all... _hot._

Dipper almost coughed into a fist, his face threatening to flame up in embarrassment. But he forced the heat down, his stomach knotting as he gritted his teeth. He forced himself to look at Bill in the eye, as blankly and challenging as he could. 

Bill's eyebrow arched in question, and his single eye flickered over to the pile Dipper messily made beside him. He frowned, and Dipper fought back a smirk of his own. 

The dressed-up man didn't speak, mutely going over to Dipper with an aura that told the brunet, _you seriously shouldn't have done that and disrespected my wishes._

The man on the floor with his arms crossed almost withered at his suitor's, but stayed sitting tall with his back straight. Finally, _finally,_ a corner of his lips quirked up in amusement when Bill stopped in front of him, breathing heavily with fire in his eye. 

And that was all it took for Bill to snap.

He reacted so fast that Dipper didn't even have time to yelp as his dirty collar was clumped up in a fist, forcing his body to get up from the floor as Bill basically dragged him up.

Dipper's hands flew to the hand grabbing him, but the fingers left, leaving him to stand there with a slackened jaw. 

Then lips met with his and a hand grabbed at the hem of his shirt.

Dipper yelped this time, feeling his dampen and dirty shirt being pulled over his head. "Wait, B- Bill, I'm sorry, I was-"

Bill bit down on his bottom lip, shutting him up as he threw Dipper's sweat-soaked shirt to the ground. Dipper tried to pull away, of course he did, but his forearms were braced against the top of the short dresser, nails digging into his skin. Not enough to break it, but enough to tell Dipper that he didn't have a problem doing exactly that if Dipper kept squirming.

So Dipper did his best to relax, opening his eyes to glare at the boy making out with him _in the middle of the apocalypse._ Ugh, this was a nightmare. Or not. Damn it, it depended on how he viewed it, really.

Bill pulled back from his lips, pulling the long-sleeved shirt over Dipper's head before planting a lingering kiss on Dipper's neck. The shirt was a little scratchy, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

Dipper shivered, his hands shooting out to Bill's thighs for support. His legs felt like jelly underneath him as Bill trailed wet and hot kisses down his neck, nipping softly at the skin there to tease him. Dipper bit back a whimper, his own nails digging into his teasing lover's skin.

Bill chuckled deeply at his reaction, a low sound that caused Dipper to shiver even more. The blond trailed a hand underneath his new shirt, the other going down his behind. Dipper tried to bat his traveling hand away with a whine, but Bill cut him off with a deep kiss, his tongue darting into Dipper's territory with expertise. 

Then Dipper was brought up with a single strong arm, being propped onto the short dresser with the wood groaning underneath them. 

A cold hand went underneath Dipper's waistband, pulling it down in one swift motion, leaving Dipper exposed in his dirty boxers. The brunet's face turned to one of deep red, embarrassed by the sudden violation. 

Bill made a throaty sound, approving of Dipper's body as he pulled away from Dipper's mouth. His eye twinkled in amusement at Dipper's flusteredness. 

"Aw, don't be so embarrassed by me, Pine Tree," purred Bill, his voice rumbling and low with lust.

He leaned over, planting a kiss on the spot where Dipper's shoulder and neck met. Dipper's hands tightened on Bill's thighs as Bill deepened his own kiss, nipping with his teeth and sucking lightly. Dipper panted, his breaths coming in labored and heavy.

His legs were pulled up by Bill's hands, slipping on the slacks onto Dipper's body. Bill made a grumbling noise in the back of his throat, the sound reverberating through his chest. Dipper's hands left his thigh to roam Bill's broad chest, feeling the muscle there despite the fabric layered on top.

And before anything could get anymore heated, Bill leaned back away from Dipper's new hickey, grinning down at him with his eye alive with that fire of his. "You're dressed." A statement.

"Wha-" Dipper looked down at himself, dropping his hands away from Bill's body to inspect himself. It was true. Bill dressed him up in his white shirt and slacks. All that was missing left was the jacket, but it was left on the floor, abandoned and completely untouched. 

"What, no shoes?" he asked sarcastically. 

Bill grinned at him, bopping his nose with his. "Nope," he said, popping the 'p'. "Your running shoes are much more important than those tight ass ones."

"Wha-?"

"Also," Bill interrupted, laughing to himself, "I'm a little too caught up right now to try and find them."

Before Dipper could open his mouth and say something regretful, Bill tilted his chin upwards to him, looking into his eyes with his lips gaping slightly in wonder.

Dipper gulped back his witty response, watching Bill's face change as he looked down at Dipper. It caused butterflies to appear in his stomach, and caused his ears to tingle. Years of being close, of being the only ones alive (as far as they knew), and Bill knew how to do things to him that made him forget.

Bill's eyelids quickly hooded, his thumb tracing over Dipper's bottom lip with a tenderness that was only reserved for him. Dipper shifted his weight, the dresser creaking in response. He looked back at Bill, waiting for him to speak. Bill was unpredictable, and times like these were times that confirmed that.

"I'm so happy I met you," Bill whispered, "I- I don't think I would've carried on without you."

Dipper felt his chest feel tingly to the touch, and he gulped down the lump forming in his throat. He reached up with both hands, taking Bill's face in them. His mouth formed a small 'o' as his eyes searched Bill's face carefully, drinking everything in.

Back then, Bill's two eyes were lit with hope and happiness, unconditional love only showing for Dipper. But now, Bill only had one, single eye- an eye that bore burdens that a person shouldn't carry. A sadness to them, even when he was smiling.

Bill smiled at him when Dipper's eyes flickered to his lips, the corners turned down. He tried so hard to act like everything was okay for Dipper. He tried so damn hard to make a world that had a happy and safe Dipper Pines. But his effort would go out in flames, as Dipper Pines was going to die eventually.

Bill's eye flickered over beside Dipper, and his fake smile brightened into a genuine grin.

He got off Dipper, letting Dipper comfortably sit down on the dresser as he shifted over to his right, looking at whatever it was he found on the dresser beside Dipper. 

"Look," he told his lover, hands going around a small box that had a small ballerina on it. "A music box."

Dipper frowned. He forgot those things existed. In fact, he forgot many things existed. He touched the tip of the ballerina with a fingertip, pulling away with dust. He rubbed it away in between his fingers, looking over to Bill. "Bill, I don't even think it works anymore."

"You kiddin' me?" Bill grinned. "These things would work in the apocalypse better than radios, Pine Tree! They don't even run on batteries or power."

"Bill-" Dipper sighed.

The man didn't pay Dipper any mind, reaching over with his hands to keep the music box in place as he spun it around three times, then five, then eight. He let go of the music box, stepping backward.

The ballerina moved but not a sound came out. Only clicks and groans.

Dipper shook his head, the words _I told you so_ at the tip of his tongue.

But then Bill put a hand out towards Dipper, and Dipper looked down at it in curiosity. His eyes glanced back up to Bill, who smiled at him. His eyes were pleading, wide with...hope. The music wasn't working yet, but Dipper had a feeling it wouldn't matter.

Outside, the monsters began to groan and scream, pounding on the chained door. 

Dipper took his hand, letting Bill grasp his hand softly to pull him to the open space. The candle soaked them in the warm glow of the fire, their shadows dancing and flickering beside them like they were dancing by themselves.

Dipper looked down at their twin shadows, and Bill pulled him to his chest, making Dipper squeak out in protest. Bill laughed at his sudden outburst, lifting a hand and forcing Dipper to rest his head on his chest carefully. 

The brunet tensed, and Bill whispered in his ear to relax. Because, after all, this might be their last dance they would ever take.

So Dipper did, his shoulders relaxing and his breathing calming down as Bill entwined his fingers with his, setting them in a slow dance position. His lover rocked them slowly from side to side- a move to calm down Dipper than anything else.

The candle, the rocking, their soft breaths- Dipper didn't feel more at home with leaning against Bill, his ear pressed against his chest. The _ba-bump_ of Bill's own heart, the steady beating that rocked Dipper to close his eyes and enjoy the moment.

Then quietly, the music began to play a soft melody. Quietly and broken at first, but bold the next moment. It was too slow for the original song, but the dust and the time being left alone here to rot was the thing to blame.  

Bill moved them from side to side, placing his chin over Dipper's head comfortably. He hummed the song, the humming sounding through his chest for Dipper to hear. 

**([X](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph4FZ3qkPD4))**

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._  
_You make me happy, when skies are gray._  
_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.  
_ _Please don't take my sunshine away._

The inhumane screaming got louder, the pounding more agitated and crazed. It sounded like more people were gathering, attracted by something within the walls. The music box, perhaps. The two of them refused to turn it off nevertheless.

They both knew what was going to happen after this.

Dipper's own heart leaped in his throat, taking over every sense of his body, pulling him under. His calm state was slipping, and he himself was slipping as well. His heart pounded, his hands shook, his ears rang painfully, his vision blurred- from tears or from the transformation that was going to turn him, he didn't know. He didn't care. He never cared.

_I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, Oh god- I'm already dying, Ohnonononono-_

His little breakdown vanished, his senses clearing up, the moment Bill pulled away from him slightly to look into his eyes. He tilted his head to the side, looking at Dipper questioningly. They were still rocking. The music was slowing down, and did nothing to drown out the sounds of the creatures outside their door.

The candle let Dipper see every scar on his face. The one down his cheek- caused because of Dipper. His eye patch- his eye got gouged out because of Dipper. The dark bruise on his forearm- all Dipper's fault. The frown, the worry playing on his lips- Dipper. 

Seeing the sadness in Dipper's eyes, Bill leaned over and kissed him. 

But the kiss was different. Way too different for Dipper not to notice. Bill tipped his head back in between his own thumb and fingers, deepening their kiss and taking possession. Strong, ferocious, a deeper need that wasn't there before. It left Dipper a little breathless as Bill pulled away from him.

A beautiful storm passing by, and Dipper wasn't out there to see it.

"Everything is going to be alright. You're going to be alright. I swear it on my life," Bill whispered, pressing his forehead against Dipper's. His hands held onto Dipper's face, forcing the brunet to look at him. There was something about the way Bill said it. Something weird, and not the kind Dipper wanted.

Dipper, being the idiot who spoke too much at the worst times, blurted, "And how about you? Will you promise me to be okay too?"

Bill didn't respond.

"Bill?"

Bill swallowed visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing hardly. He blinked once, then twice. There was a glassy look in them that made Dipper's heart sink.

 _"Bill?"_ The name was called more urgently, more broken like the owner to the name.

The boy didn't respond to the other, holding onto Dipper harder, stronger- like he was going to lose Dipper if he didn't grip him strong enough. _"BILL?"_

 _"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,"_ the blond sang in a broken, watery voice. _"You make me happy when skies are gray."_

Dipper watched him with a clenched jaw, gritting it as Bill kept his forehead pressed against Dipper's. _"You never know, dear, how much I love you."_

Bill blinked, his watery eye threatening to spill tears. But Bill Cipher didn't do tears. He didn't do much of anything, and now- now was no exception.

_"Please don't take my sunshine away."_

He didn't know what happened.

He was slammed against the floor, the back of his head hitting against a pole. A burst of light showered in his vision, and he squeezed his eyes shut in pain. A groan managed to escape his lips.

His senses was blurred for a moment, feeling not much of anything until he opened his eyes. There was a click, and a sound of something rotating.

He tried to move his left hand. It stayed locked.

Dipper's eyes widened, anxiety and adrenaline pumping through his every pore. His heart pounded, his mind frying with the sudden overwhelming situation.

Bill tightened his handcuff more, but not enough to make him uncomfortable. Bill held up a key up to Dipper's face, letting the boy see it, before throwing it fifteen feet away- it would take Dipper at least an hour to get to it, but at least he would get to it at all. Sadly, he was also attached to a stair railing. 

Then Bill planted a soft kiss on Dipper's forehead, standing up and walking over to the chained door. He began to take off the chains, ever so slowly.

"BILL!" Dipper screamed, his throat raw and begging. He pleaded, he _screamed_ for Bill to stop. 

"BILL, STOP IT! _STOP!"_ Dipper sobbed out, fighting against his restraints. He tried to pull his left hand away, to somehow get his way out of this stupid handcuff and stop his lover from doing what he was trying to do.

His lover, of course, didn't respond to him. 

"BILL! _BILL!_ PLEASE!" Dipper screamed, angry tears welling up in his eyes. "STOP IT! _STOP IT!_ YOU'RE SCARING ME!"

Bill's shoulders tensed up, his hands stopping on the chain. And right when Dipper thought he would stop this hell, he kicked his foot back. 

A pistol went sliding over to Dipper, stopping right at his feet. "Bill," Dipper begged, sobs breaking through his chest, "don't. Please. Bill, you don't _understand_ -"

He rolled up his pant leg, stretching it out for Bill to see. There was a rotten mark, scratched down from his knee to ankle. A bite, ripped of the top layer of his flesh. "I'm bit, Bill! I'm bit! It doesn't matter if you fucking kill every single one of them, I'm going to _die_ anyway!"

Bill turned his head to see his scar. He did not flinch. He did not look surprised. 

Instead, Bill turned his whole body to face Dipper and shrugged off his blazer, pulling his shirt over his head. He let the fabric drop to the floor, basically floating down to his feet and pooling there.

There was a giant hole in Bill's stomach. It was like someone stuck their hand in and dug into his flesh, taking a huge chunk out of him. It was green and black- at least five months old. 

It took six months for a person to turn.

Dipper couldn't speak. He couldn't. He tried. 

But Bill didn't wait for an answer as he turned around, grabbing the ax beside the door and raising it above his head.

He cut the last chain, and opened it a crack.

He slipped out, closing the door shut behind him. 

There was a scream- of rage, of anger, of the monster Bill Cipher was secretly hiding from him all those months ago. 

The screams went on, and Dipper kept crying, tugging and pulling on his handcuff desperately to get out and find him, to save him despite knowing what had happened. His wrist was bloody, red and raw like skinned meat.

But he didn't care. Dipper Pines never cared.

Outside, the screams turned into gurgles. The gurgles turned into wet sounds of a distorted throat. 

And then silence.

The music box ended abruptly, much like poor Bill Cipher's life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try watching the slow dance scene with the link in the background. Makes it better, I promise.


	2. "No, just the Bill please."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College/Coffee Shop AU. Dipper comes over to the local Gravity Falls coffee shop to study and has the sugary pleasure to have Bill as his waiter. He just needs to learn to espresso his feelings better next time. Well, it was better latte than never.
> 
> Based on this Tumblr post: http://louisthechecked.tumblr.com/post/144701908172/this-convo-i-had-with-wirtingsauce-is-still

Dipper Pines yawned as he pushed open the door of "The Weirdmageddon Cafe".

A tiny cafe, he had to admit, not as large as he was used to going to. Honestly, he was used to going to the coffee shop across his college with his twin sister Mabel, a large shop with five stars in their reviews. They'd sit down and chat, drink their coffee, complain about assignments, and then go home to actually do them or goof off.

Now though, Dipper was entering a completely different coffee shop with no one but himself.

Yes, he was an introvert. Yes, it was refreshing to go alone this time. But for some reason, without Mabel coming with him this time to stop any awkwardness or drama, it was...weird.

Well, technically he had a reason to coming here. It was, after all, Mabel's idea to make him come here.

You see, The Weirdmageddon Cafe was a new small shop at the corner of the town where no one can see them. It was remotely new in his terms, but their coffee was just booming recently. Why?

Their new coffee had something every college student needed right now. And indeed, it was the caffeine. Their new best-selling coffee, something they called "Death Wish Coffee" was starting to help poor college students with sleeping problems. Yes, there was a company called death wish. Yes, they were using their beans to make the coffee. 

But you see, it was the rumors of how they made it was what caught everyone's attentions. There were rumors of an employee putting the coffee beans in a sift and _burning them,_ and another rumor where they would cover the beans in a dust that enhanced adrenaline levels and kept them up for forty-eight hours.

"Go to the Weirdmageddon Cafe, Bro-Bro!" Dipper's twin sister had chirped at him that day. "They're selling this bomb-ass coffee called death wish. And they're only serving to the ones they deemed worthy. So, listen carefully, Broseph. Once the waiter comes over to you to ask what you want, look them in the eyes without smiling or making a frown or anything- and say you want a death wish. Just like that and they'll serve it to ya!"

So Dipper took her advice, and brought his things to the small cafe he spent a whole hour looking for embarrassingly. He brought his messenger bag with him, his eyes scanning every single table here in the small cafe. 

He found a two-person table in the very corner, and made his way over to it. He really didn't have to pick that corner though. While their business was booming, the hours operating right now are still slow at four in the afternoon on a Wednesday. No one was here except him and the employees at the back.

Speaking of the employees- there were shouts coming from behind the back of the counter and the sounds of beating as ovens were turned on and used for the bread, and the sounds of employees running around almost frantically. Dipper was the only one in the shop, how come they were acting like some important guy from Chicago was visiting them?

Dipper frowned, sliding the bag's strap off his shoulder and setting it down gently beside his ankle. The strong whiffs of brewed coffee and pastries came up his nose, and Dipper inhaled gratefully. When was the last time he had actual dinner instead of ramen noodles and cheap espresso coffees in the college lounges? Probably last year when he wasn't in the hell of student loans and college assignments yet. 

Dipper opened the flap of his bag, taking out his notebook and laptop and setting a pen across the notebook itself. He opened up his laptop, booting up the old machine with a finger. He bent down, rummaging through his bag more efficiently to find his glasses cleaner he always lost. 

His back eventually ached, and he had to sit up and prop himself against the wooden chair behind himself. He sighed, his hands going underneath his dirty glasses to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Dipper had four English papers due this week, with one being due the very next day. 

Ugh, fuck college and everything it stood for.

Dipper inhaled deeply through his nose, taking off his glasses and wiping it on his dirty shirt with a grimace. He held his glasses up to the sky, squinting as he looked through the light to see the dirty spots. Thanks to his dirty shirt, the lens just became more dirtier and more profound. He scowled.

Whatever.

He shoved them back onto his face, blinking to get his eyes to adjust back to his reading glasses again. His vision blurred, and he could barely stand seeing the spots in his vision, but his eyes adjusting nonetheless.

And when it did, he almost fell out of his chair and jumped in surprise.

In front of him stood a very, _very_ handsome man around his age. He had amazing blond hair, eyes that held mischief but intelligence too, and a lean body that would have made anyone drool over it if he ever took off his shirt. His stunning smile was directed at Dipper, a smile so brilliant that it would have made everyone's heart skip a beat if it was ever turned to them- AKA Dipper Pines's exact situation. His mouth dried and his jaw slacked, and he looked up at the man in the eyes. And, the thing about this person was-

He was sporting an apron with a white long-sleeved shirt that was rolled up his elbows, a notepad and pen held at the ready as he smiled at Dipper with that mischievous grin of his. 

Dipper coughed, warmth and a tingling sensation going through his face. He looked up at the waiter, refusing to back down. But of course, the man must have caught his embarrassment, causing him to grin wider, if that was by any means possible. Sure, Dipper was embarrassed and flustered now, but the hottie in front of him managed to get him more awake than two cups of brewed coffee from his local college. 

 _"Bonsoir, mon cher, je suis votre serveur pour aujourd'hui. Qu'est-ce que je vous sers?"_ spoke the handsome waiter in a drawl that Dipper barely caught. All he knew was that it sounded extremely hot and uh- shit, what was the question?

Dipper blinked, and finally realized that his waiter spoke in French, a language he sadly did not understand.

"Oh, uh- um- I- I'm not-" Dipper stammered. His index fingers rolled and twiddled, as if it would try and make his point for him.

His waiter furrowed his brow in confusion at his words, then the realization struck him when he saw Dipper's stitched jacket- his college emblem, a very American college at that. "Oh!" his server said in surprise. "I'm very uh, sorry about that, kid. I just thought- huh. Again, sorry." He sounded sheepish, not very sorry but more dismissive than anything else. There wasn't accent to his words- if anything, his English sounded more fluent and wonderful on his tongue than the French.

"Nah, it's okay. We're all tired and beat down at the moment," Dipper told him, waving a hand in dismissal. His laptop finally opened after ten thousand centuries, and he logged into it, his eyes glued to it instead of the waiter in front of him. 

His waiter grinned. "Here, lemme try again," he said. He twirled his pen around his fingers as he looked down at Dipper, an impressive useless show-off that Dipper wanted to roll his eyes at. It was like the guy was _trying_ to impress him. "So, what can I getcha? Espresso, decaf? Any pastries or tarts?"

And then Dipper looked up from above his laptop, looking at his waiter in the eyes with the most deadpanned look as he could manage. "A blueberry muffin would help," Dipper told his waiter. The blond server nodded, holding onto his pen and writing it down. Then Dipper tilted his head to the side, as if in thought.

"And a death wish would be magnificent." Honestly, those words sounded extremely wrong and weird on his tongue, words he never thought a person would actually say even if it meant something completely different. Well, perhaps that was the joke. 

His blond waiter's eyebrows shot up high, a look of surprise coming over his face. He was probably surprised by the fact that a skinny, tired-looking brunet would ask for something so...dangerous. After all, the death wish coffee was rumored to have risks of heart attacks and side-effects. 

Remembering that his sister told them that they only served it when they deemed the person "worthy" of the wicked coffee, Dipper's back straightened and he looked back down at his laptop over his glasses and looked as bored as possible. He stifled his yawns and tried to make himself look bigger than he actually was- to look intimidating or capable, he didn't really know or particularly give a flying shit.

And to his surprise, the blond man chuckled, tucking the pen over his ear. "You've got some guts, kid," the man commented. Dipper didn't dare look up. "Yeah, I'll come over in a bit with your order. Anything for cuties like you."

The moment the man left, his words sunk in, and Dipper choked on his own spit.

Did he just- did that guy just call him _cute?_ Dipper Pines was absolutely _not_ cute!

He huffed, his fingers smashing on the keyboard harder than he should be. He typed up his essay, opening five tabs for his research and opening his notebook to his study notes. Scowling, his thumbs jabbed on the spacebar while he typed with the words sounding too firm and stiff in his head. 

 _No, no, no, that's not right,_ he thought with a snarl, backspacing his whole paragraph. This stupid essay was worth half of his goddamn class! And for god's sake- it was due _tomorrow!_  

And if that wasn't enough, his phone rang in his pocket, scaring him half to death as his fingers stopped on his greasy keyboard. He swore underneath his breath for distraction, pulling out his sleek phone and looking at the caller ID. Massaging the bridge of his nose and squinting, Dipper let out a sigh. It was Mabel.

"Yeah?" he asked tiredly into the phone. He sounded slightly irritated, even to himself. 

"Sorry 'bout the interruption, Bro!" chirped out his sister's optimistic voice. There was some shuffling in the background, and some giggling. He guessed that she was at a sleepover, or some study session with her own group of friends. Everyone in college and high school this week was going crazy over their finals.

"What is it, Mabel?" he asked once more. Tiredly, and getting impatient.

"Nothin', I just wanted to know if you made it to that coffee shop I told you about safely!" she said again. Dipper rolled his eyes, clicking around his tabs on his laptop with one hand. 

"Yeah, I did. I ordered the death wish just like you asked," Dipper informed his sister, eyes flickering over the words of his remaining paragraphs to edit. 

"Nice dude! Good job!" Mabel whooped. "I brew you could do it, you always gave things your best _shot_!"

Dipper's hand hovered over his keys, and he inclined his head to the side. "Did you just...make two coffee puns in one sentence?" he asked in disbelief. 

"Yep!" she answered proudly, popping the 'P'. 

"Mabel," he blinked, getting a hum in return, "you're grounded."

There was a moment of silence on the other end before Mabel began laughing. "Oh, it's on, dear brother," she told him. Dipper's lips quirked up. "This is such a brew-tiful morning, isn't it, Bro!"

Dipper almost groaned out loud. "I'm sorry Mabel, but I might be a little latte to the party tomorrow."

"I'm really sorry about your-" There was a sound of Mabel shuffling and snorting, before she said, "-coffee mate!" Ah yes, his go-to brand of coffee. If she spilled the container, he was seriously going to-

"Words cannot espresso how much I'm cringing right now," Dipper told her blankly. He put his phone between his shoulder and ear, typing up some sentences he thought were good enough for his essay.

"Dude, I just saw a lawyer outside the coffee shop lately," Mabel mock-whispered, "he ordered a _law_ tte."

It took him a while to find the joke, and he couldn't help but snort. "And a police officer ordered a _cop_ puccino."

"Dude, of course size matters!" Mabel gasped. "Nobody wants a small cup of coffee!"

"Mabel, help! I've been mugged!"

"Oh no! Quick, describe the cup-rit!"

"He was bottomless, Mabel! Bottomless!"

"Thanks, Bro-Bro! You've been a latte help!"

Dipper laughed underneath his breath, trying to sound as quiet as possible so the employees brewing the coffee in the back wasn't going to look at him strangely.

He shook his head, clearing his throat and the puns finally washing away from him. "Mabel, can you please stop _pun_ -ishing me for now?" he asked as seriously as he could. As expected, his sister burst out laughing, and he couldn't help but grin lopsidedly. He kept typing away on his laptop, the creative flow coming back to him. His shoulders relaxed, his face becoming composed, and he was finally comfortable in his own little world.

"Hey, I gotta go," Dipper told his sister distractedly, "My essay is due tomorrow and I just got a rush."

"Oh yeah, your essay!" his sister exclaimed. "Right. Well, good luck on that, Dippin' Dots. Dinner at Grunkle Stan's place, you still up for it?"

"Yeah, I am. I may have to pull an all-nighter again tonight too. Do you think Great Uncle Ford would mind if I used his office?" he asked in slight distraction. His fingers were practically flying over the keys now, his mind half on the essay and half on his sister.

"Nah, not really. He uses it late at night, anyway. As long as you're out of there by four, I'm sure he won't mind!" Mabel assured him. 

"Right. See you later, sis," Dipper said in goodbye.

"Bye Bro!" she said into the phone. Then she hung up on him, and Dipper put his phone back into his pocket. Not once did his eyes leave his laptop, glued there as the words kept typing up with his fast fingers.

Then there was a cough, and Dipper stopped his hands almost immediately in response.

He looked up, and saw the same handsome waiter smirking at him with his order in both hands. One hand held his muffin, the other hand a small cup of Death Wish. Dipper was a little disappointed by the size of the cup, but then again, if someone were to have more, they would have died from heart failure or something. 

His waiter set it down beside his things carefully, sliding the cup of coffee over to him. Dipper didn't touch it, too distracted by the essay on his laptop to take a sip just yet. Although, he pulled his muffin over to himself hungrily and took a big bite, setting it back down to his left, the cup on the right.

"Anything else I can get you, _mon cher_?" the waiter asked. Kindly, but with a hint of- Dipper shook his head. He almost thought that the guy was _flirting_ with him. Yeah, as if. 

To be nice and not to seem rude and dismissive, Dipper looked up at his server and smiled softly. He put a hand on the cup handle. His eyes, without really meaning to, flickered down to the golden name tag that he swore the man wasn't wearing a moment ago. 'Bill Cipher' was on his tag.

And because his conversation with Mabel was still in his head and because he was too distracted by the words floating around his head for his essay, Dipper turned back to his laptop screen, lifting the cup up to his lips. 

That was before he said, "No, just the Bill please."

And almost immediately, he began to choke and cough up his coffee.

Not because it was too strong for him (hell it tasted like heaven!), but because, well- did he just _flirt_ with his own waiter?

By accident, sure, but _he_ didn't know that.

"S- sorry- that's not what I- I was just- my sister- puns- and-" Dipper choked out, the words strained by the coffee that went down the wrong pipe. He rubbed his throat, and he felt a hand on his back, rubbing patterns there soothingly. 

He barely took note of the hand firmly on his back, before the waiter began to laugh a sweet, strange laugh that made Dipper's cheek flame out harder. The waiter laughed harder at his extremely red face, and it took him a while before he calmed down, clearing his throat and answering with chuckles in between. "No, no, it's quite alright," the waiter assured him. 

The hand on his back left, and Dipper looked up, grimacing from the coffee. He was about to apologize yet again, just for good measure, when the waiter suddenly propped his elbows on his table right across from his face and leaned in, his face contorted into an amused look.

"Would you like me _right here, right now,_ or to go?" purred the attractive blond, angling his head while he propped his chin on the back of his hand. 

Aw, shit.

Shit, shit, shit, _shit-_ college did _not_ prepare Dipper Pines in situations like these. Hell, if there was a school that helped prepare him for cute flirtatious boys, he seriously needed to sign up immediately because he had zero clue on what to do, whatsoever. 

"Wha- I- uh- w- well, I- I mean I-" Dipper stuttered, his back rigid and his eyes wide as saucers. 

Bill laughed, standing up from his crouch towards Dipper. His eyes were a little hooded, and sported an extremely tempting look. Dipper shifted uncomfortably, not knowing if he should keep looking up at Bill Cipher or back down to his laptop to pretend nothing happened. Both choices seemed more awkward than the next.

Thankfully, Bill let him off the hook by telling him, "Well, call me if you need anything, Pine Tree." 

Dipper looked down at his shirt, at the embedded cross-stitching of a pine tree on his left breast pocket. He scowled. Okay- so Bill was cute and flirty as hell. But his nicknames? Not so much.

Finally having enough of that situation, Dipper shook his head and began typing away on his laptop, taking drinks of his coffee and taking bites of his muffin. The coffee itself was extremely phenomenal. It didn't taste bitter, like the kinds of coffee Dipper would have to be forced to get to keep himself awake. In fact, it tasted like chocolate with a hint of cherry. It didn't leave a bad aftertaste.

He downed the whole cup, and soon, the cup was empty.

Dipper looked down at his cup, frowning at it like it was its fault for being empty. It was absolutely delicious. He wanted more, needed more.

The effects of the coffee didn't take long too. Soon, his hands were twitching with energy and he had to shake his leg to shave off the adrenaline. His pupils dilated, his mind cleared, and his essay was more than eighty percent done by the time a girl with dyed purple hair came over to him. 

It was clear that she was in college. She wore an apron of an employee, her name tag telling Dipper that her name was Pyronica, and her dyed hair actually looked good on her. It was neon purple, but it was still neat. There was a piercing on her nose, a little silver stud. Her teeth were a little crooked, but overall she was really pretty.

To his surprise, she brought over his receipt to him, a single strip of paper folded in half. She took his empty cup and muffin wrapper silently, and winked at him. Dipper's brow knitted in confusion, and she leaned over towards him. "Kid, you are luckier than any person alive right now, you know that?" she whispered. Dipper quirked an eyebrow.

Pyronica laughed, and shook her head as she stood up straighter. "Well, good luck to you, sir," she laughed, saluting him before she walked away.

 _What...just happened?_ Dipper thought in complete confusion. He shook his head, blinking.

Then he opened up the receipt and scanned the price of his food. But to his surprise, his muffin and coffee price was crossed out with a red pen. On the very bottom had his total price, which was, you guessed it, zero dollars and zero cents. The empty price was circled with the words, _"On the house, mon cher."_

Dipper's eyebrow arched, and he realized that there was another scratchy hand-written note on the back, written in the same red ink with the same messy writing. 

It read, _"Open again at exactly 4 AM for adorable awkward boys with cute glasses and beautiful brown doe eyes."_

* * *

Why.

Why did he agree to this.

Dipper sighed in irritation, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looked up at the same coffee shop he was in twelve hours ago. His fist crinkled around the same receipt he was given as well, his knuckles turning white and his nails digging into his palms.

For those twelve hours, he kept staring at the piece of paper, his eyes burning into it like it was going to disappear. He spent an hour pressing his ear against his own wall, making sure everyone was asleep, that everyone thought he was downstairs, doing work. The moment it turned 3:50, he turned off the lamp in Ford's office, put his stuff away, and sneaked out. Everyone thought he was asleep, as did Grunkle Ford, who he made sure to tell that he was going to bed.

Dipper wasn't a troublemaker. No, not really. Honestly, he couldn't believe he did it himself, but it this was a once in a life-time thing! Plus, that coffee, the stupid Death Wish Coffee- it hasn't left his system. He even did all his essays in one go. He even got _bored_ after finishing them all, and he needed something to do. Of course, the first thing that popped into his mind was Bill.

For once in his life, Dipper Pines was asked out.

By the hottest waiter he has ever seen in his entire fucking life.

Christ, somebody should just go ahead and stone him now before this goes on.

But seeing that it wasn't just a dream and someone wasn't going to stone him (as of yet), Dipper sighed and knocked on the glass door. Inside, the shop was dark and definitely looking closed. He must've looked stupid and insane to the ones looking at him right now- a kid knocking on the front of a cafe in the middle of the night with a receipt clutched in one hand.

He stepped back, waiting for someone to answer the door and let him in. And that someone was, well, _him._

But sadly, Bill Cipher didn't come out and grin at him, ushering him inside for whatever it was he wanted. No, he didn't. 

Nobody did, actually.

Dipper's eyes blurred with tears. No, no, no- he can't cry! Stupid, stupid boy. He rubbed at his eyes as hard as he could, forcing the tears away as he sniffed the snot threatening to come out. 

He was just plain old Dipper Pines. He wasn't hot, he wasn't cute, he was just average. Why would someone as superior as Bill want to ask _him_ out? Bill did it as a joke. Dipper knew he did. A dare, a joke his coworkers told him to do. He was gullible.

Dipper swallowed the lump in his throat, about to angrily walk away back to his car to go home when abruptly, the door swung open.

He looked up, startled by the sudden bell and creaking. Bill Cipher stood there, grinning at him with his hair combed and his work clothes changed for a white dress shirt rolled up to his sleeves with clean, black slacks. A yellow tie was expertly tied around his collar, and the man adjusted it self-consciously. 

"Ah, Pine Tree!" Bill greeted happily. 

Then his smile fell, and he frowned at Dipper. He must have seen his red eyes. Dipper wasn't very good at hiding tears, even if those tears only fell for a split second. He blamed his genetics. 

"Whoa- hey, what's wrong?" Bill asked in genuine concern, his voice coated with...was that protectiveness and- and anger? 

"Hmm? Oh, uh, nothing, I uh- it was just-" Dipper began, shaking his head to tell Bill that it didn't really mean anything. 

Then his wrist was shot forward as Bill took it in his hand, pulling it to his face as he turned his arm over. Dipper yelped, watching Bill inspect his forearm closely.

When he saw nothing, Bill grunted and put his forearm down, letting Dipper to have it back. Dipper rubbed his wrist, not because it hurt, just because he did it out of subconsciousness. "Why'd you do that?"

Bill gave him a half-shrug, gesturing him to come inside right before turning around and coming inside himself. "Nothing, I was just making sure you didn't get hurt on the way here."

"Why would I get hurt?" Dipper asked him curiously, cautiously stepping in. The door closed automatically after he came in, and he tried his hardest not to cringe at the bell.

"There are some..." Bill began, thinking to himself for the right word, "...complications here. Conflicts, really. It was risky sending you here at four in the morning, I knew it was, so I made sure to send some of my coworkers to guard the street." He laughed to himself, opening the lights to the shop. "I was about to give them hell if I found out you got hurt."

"Your- your coworkers?" Dipper blinked in surprise. 

"Well, yes," Bill hummed, standing tall as he surveyed the place, "or, workers, I guess. I own this cafe."

"You do?" Dipper asked again, his voice one octave higher. Well, that explained why Bill managed to let them into the cafe at four in the morning. Dipper couldn't see behind Bill's back, and settled on looking at it instead, almost glowering at it.

"Of course!" Bill chirped, his back muscles stretching as he picked up a chair and set it on top of a table- to clean up, probably. Dipper's face began to feel a little hot at what he was staring at, and he blinked, turning his gaze away from Bill's broad back. "I was only seventeen when my family gave this business to me, ya know. Didn't make a lot of money back then, but ever since I took over and finally made that Death Wish coffee, everyone's been flocking over here like pigeons and bread."

"That's...awesome!" Dipper said halfheartedly, trying to peak over Bill's shoulder to see what was going on.

He got what he wanted when Bill stepped sideways to put up another chair, allowing him to see what was in the middle of the shop.

In the dead center was a two person table with two chairs, a vase of roses in the middle with matching red wines across from each other. Two menus were set out in front of the chairs, the menus looking new and handwritten. On the bar counter was ten candles, unlit with a lighter right beside them. 

Dipper found it a little odd to be eating at this time, but his stomach won him over. He didn't know whether to call it dinner or breakfast, but as long as he was having food again, he was content with any name Bill told him this was.

Bill walked towards the candles, lighting them up each with a click of his lighter. He gestured for Dipper to take a seat, and Dipper did, slowly and cautiously like it was going to break underneath his behind. 

Soon, with all ten candles lit, Bill clapped his hands twice. The lights turned off, leaving them in a candlelit room.

Dipper let out a yelp of surprise, and Bill laughed at his startled reaction. "Sorry," he chuckled, "I forgot to tell you about that." He took a seat in front of Dipper.

The moment he sat down, Dipper realized that they weren't alone. Pyronica and her coworkers that Dipper didn't or did recognize came in, filing in one line. They paid no attention to Dipper and his date, going behind the counter and disappearing in the room behind it. 

"Did you seriously ask all your workers to come at four AM in the morning for this?" Dipper asked in disbelief, his eyes flickering over to Bill.

Bill laughed once more. He really liked laughing, did he? To be completely honest, Dipper didn't mind- it made him smile for some reason, actually. "I asked a volunteer to help with the food," Bill explained to him, "but everyone else heard and got all offended and insisted they'd stay up to make this day memorable for you."

"Me?" Dipper squeaked out.

"Yes, you," Bill beamed. He took his cup of red wine and sipped it once. Dipper didn't touch his, too frozen to even move his fingers. "After all, you made my day memorable."

"I- I did?" Dipper asked once more, stammering his words. God, he sounded pathetic. 

Bill chuckled, leaning back against his seat until the front legs were no longer supporting his weight. He brought his feet up to the table, drinking his wine slowly as he watched Dipper with a predator's gaze. Dipper dropped his eyes to the red cloth on the table, drawing patterns on his legs with his fingers.

"Well for one, you made me look like a complete idiot," Bill told him.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't no how to react so I-" Dipper apologized, lifting his head.

Bill shook his head, leaning forward to set his half full glass down on the table. "No, don't apologize," he assured Dipper, "Hell, it was actually a good thing! No one's ever made me feel embarrassed and man, does it have such a good adrenaline rush!"

Dipper laughed softly underneath his breath, taking the wine in front of him. He took a sip, just to try it. It didn't taste that bad.

"Do you usually take your dates out like this?" Dipper asked him in curiosity.

Bill put down the front legs, setting his chair down properly. He gave Dipper a half-smile, one that slightly turned his nose and- Dipper dropped his eyes to the menu in front of him, just so Bill didn't see the look on his face.

"Nah," Bill drawled, "I take them out on fancy dinners and shit, but nothing like this at least. I didn't put as much effort in those dates than I did on this."

Dipper opened up his menu, purposely avoiding Bill's eyes. "What makes _me_ so special?" Dipper snorted, feeling the warmth touch his ears. 

Bill pondered over this for a while, opening his menu too, just to copy Dipper. "Well, like I said, you're the only one who actually made me feel embarrassed before," Bill told him, "but you also intrigue me, Pine Tree."

"Can you stop calling me Pine Tree?" Dipper groaned, looking up at Bill. 

The blond gave him a half shrug. "Well, I mean you never told me your name, so I'm kind of classified on calling you Pine Tree, right Pine Tree?"

Aw shit he's right.

Dipper gave him an unamused look. "I'm Dipper Pines. _Now_ can you stop calling me Pine Tree?"

"Dipper," Bill said, as if testing the name on his tongue. "Dipper," he said again, this time with a furrowed brow and a small frown of concentration. Dipper's spine tingled. The way he was saying his name was just...

"And heh, Pines," Bill chuckled, "that makes me want to call you Pine Tree more, Pine Tree."

Sighing in defeat, Dipper flipped through the last page of the menu. The menu was _filled_ with foods- pasta, bread, chicken, rice, noodles, fries- everything and anything all into one menu. He could barely chose.

"Are you ready to order?" Bill asked him kindly.

"No," Dipper mumbled, "I uh..."

Bill hummed. "If you want, I can chose your food for you. I mean, if you want, of course," he offered.

"Yes please. I'm terrible at making decisions," Dipper told him with a grateful smile. His shoulders relaxed, and Bill called over Pyronica.

"We're ready," he said bluntly.

Pyronica looked at her boss, then Dipper, then walked away with their menus.

Dipper watched her walk away with a confused look. "What was that about? We didn't even-!"

"Don't worry, she knows what I want," Bill assured him, taking another sip of wine. He pulled out a pen from his pockets and clicked it once, turning the menu over so he could write some things on it. "In fact, I'm going to start splitting some pay checks right now for the ones who volunteered here today, if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, go ahead. I'll just wait for our-" Dipper began.

A ginger boy that looked to be about in high school age came over with a bottle of wine, probably taking notice of Bill's almost empty wine.

The boy tripped on something slippery on the floor, a cry escaping his lips before the wine was split all over Bill's shirt. Dipper couldn't even let out a warning to his date before it happened, and red liquid dribbled down Bill's body. 

The man's chair screeched backwards in surprise, his eyes down to his damp shirt. "HECTOR!" Bill snapped.

"Sorry, sorry! Whoops, haha!" Hector said nervously, walking away from Bill ever so slowly. He had his hands out, the wine bottle still in one hand, but empty. He had a sheepish smile on, a look of fear in his eyes as he faced the wrath of his boss. 

"YOU _IDIOT!_ LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!" Bill bellowed, a disgusted look on his face as he put a hand on his chest and pulled away, looking at how much wine soaked through. Dipper watched in mute fear. 

"I'm sorry, sir! I'll have the wine cleaned up, I'll get a washcloth and a new shirt, I- I just-" Hector assured his boss, laughing nervously in between breaths. 

"Are you _trying_ to get yourself fired?!" Bill screamed at him, slamming his fist on the table and rattling their vase of flowers and wine glasses. "Hell, I could fire you _right fucking now_  if you don't get out of my goddamn sight and clean this all fucking-!"

"Bill," Dipper whispered, his voice tentative and wary in case he made the man mad himself. "He didn't do it on purpose. And he's still a teenager. Leave him alone. Please?"

His words must have done something to Bill. The man breathed in deep, taking deep breaths after another, massaging the bridge of his nose. After a moment of silence, he spoke. "You're right, absolutely right," Bill said solemnly. "I'm- sorry about that, Hector. Go get me a clean shirt and clean this all up."

"Yes sir!" Hector said enthusiastically, walking away and glad that he wasn't going to get a punishment.

Bill grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him back and glaring at him with a look that made Dipper wither back. "I do not want this happening again, do you hear me?" Bill said through gritted teeth. Hector's eyes widened as big as saucers, and he nodded. 

Bill leaned in towards him, whispering something harsh that he must have thought Dipper wouldn't have heard. Dipper, while not being a troublemaker, was definitely a person who loved to eavesdrop. Amounts of practicing on his whispering and arguing Grunkles made his ears used to figuring out what people were saying. 

"I do not want you embarrassing me in front of my date ever again, _do you understand?_ " Bill whispered harshly, "When I take him out on another date and you do something like this again, you're coming out of there with one less finger."

"Y- yes Bill Cipher, Sir," Hector stammered. Bill let go of his wrist with a warning glare, and Hector scampered away like a frightened bunny. 

"I'm sorry about that," Bill sighed, unbuttoning his shirt. Dipper's heart leaped in his throat at what he was doing, and decided to focus on Bill's face instead. "Hector's the youngest out of all my coworkers, and he's pretty clumsy too. I don't know why I let him volunteer."

"It's alright," Dipper assured him, "He still has a lot to learn. He'll get better."

Bill didn't respond, his hands trailing down so he could unbutton the rest of his buttons. Dipper gulped, turning his gaze away from Bill's face to the busy noises happening at the back of the cafe. He could still see Bill out of the corner of his eye as he shrugged out of his wet shirt, taking it off and setting it on the ground.

Hector came back with a dry cloth, handing the cloth to Bill to clean himself up. He squeaked out that they were out of fresh backup clothes, and someone named Kryptos was washing them and was going to be ready in fifteen minutes.

Dipper's breath hitched as Bill sighed in slight irritation, signalling Hector to walk away. He shook his head, blinked, then sat forward, using the back of his menu to write down the paychecks. He scratched down a few names, then his brow creased.

He put the pen in his mouth, a cute little pout on his lips as he looked at the names he wrote down. He was doing mental math, and Dipper could tell it was pissing him off a little. 

If his cute concentrated face wasn't enough, his bare chest was proudly exposed, literally fulfilling all of Dipper's fantasies about it. 

He coughed into a hand, looking away from Bill to wait for his food with the reddest face he ever had. He had a feeling Bill noticed, as the little shithead was smirking to himself, occasionally shifting his weight underneath him.

Finally, Pyronica came back with two platters, setting them down in front of them and opening the domes. Inside were two steaming bowls of soup. She walked away, patting Bill on the back like what a proud sister would do.

Bill picked up the spoon beside the bowl, dipping it inside and lifting it up with soup on the spoon. "Appetizer," Bill explained, "our main course will get here after we finish."

Dipper nodded mutely, picking up his spoon and doing the same Bill did. But the spoon slipped in between his sweaty fingers, causing it to fall inside the bowl. Being the stupid idiot he was, Dipper dipping his two fingers inside the soup without thinking, trying to reach out for the spoon he lost.

"Ah, fuck me!" he hissed, feeling it burn up his fingertips as he pulled it away.

At the back, there was a perfectly timed chorus of, "Don't worry, Bill will later."

Bill choked on his wine, two fitful coughs before he rubbed his throat with a fist and grimaced. Dipper, thankful that he didn't have the same fate, merely looked down at his soup, as if in pity and he didn't pay attention to what just happened. Oh lord.

"Forgive them," Bill told Dipper, "usually, they would never, ever tease my other dates like this- they actually always seem to _hate_ them but that's besides the point. I'll try to discipline the-"

"Heeeeey, boss!" cried out a man in his mid-twenties, clutching a neatly folding white tee in one hand. He put his arm around Bill's neck, acting like they were old buddies.

"What now, Kryptos?" Bill scowled. 

"Aw, nothing! Just your shirt!" grinned the drunkard, shoving the tee onto Bill's chest. Dipper watched, mildly amused with Bill's scowling as he got spooned some soup into his mouth (Hector came over and gave him a new one).

Bill slipped it on as Kryptos began babbling about some joke his coworker told him, going on and on and on. Bill cut him off with, "Alright, alright, I get it, Kryp. Now can you please leave me and my date alone? In peace?"

Kryptos, as if forgetting Bill was on a date, glanced over at Dipper. His eyes flickered over his face, his hair, his body and clothes. Dipper shifted a little uncomfortably, and Bill opened his mouth the moment he saw his discomfort. 

"Hey that shirt looks nice on you!" Kryptos finally said, grinning at Dipper.

"Oh um...thank you?" Dipper thanked, sounding more confused than thankful. 

"I bet it would look even nicer on Bill's bedroom floor."

Dipper choked on a small chicken piece in the soup, and Bill laughed along with Kryptos. Great. Just great. His date was bipolar.

"Can I tie your shoes? I can't have you falling for someone else other than Billy here, amirite?" Kryptos said yet again, waggling his eyebrows at Dipper. 

Aaaand, Dipper is in Hell. No, no, no- Hell is five times better than this. 

"Bill, can you make him stop?" he begged, looked over to his date for moral support. Bill batted Kryptos's arm away from around his neck, flashing Dipper a grin that said, _Eh, how about no?_

"Hey Dipper, I'm really bad at chemistry, but I can see the reactions happening between you and him," said the wingman, his drunken smile never leaving his face. Bill guffawed, choking down his soup, and Dipper didn't even _touch_ his in fear for the choking era.

"KRYPTOS YOU IDIOT!" called a voice from the back. Dipper's shoulders slumped, glad that somebody finally stepped in to stop the hell he was in. "That's not how it goes, you buffoon! It's, 'I'm bad at geography, but I can tell you live in Bill Cipher's heart!' Christ, Kryptos!"

"Same difference!" Kryptos yelled back.

Three people stepped out of the shadows, scaring the living hell out of Dipper. Bill laughed when the three showed up, the three workers wearing matching apron and matching grins of mischief that Dipper was convinced was influenced by Bill himself. 

"Dipper, meet Xanthar, Teeth, and Keyhole," Bill chuckled, pointing at each individual person. "The two are nicknames, by the way."

Dipper nodded, opening his mouth to say hello to the three people before one of them -Xanthar- slammed his palms on their table, looked into Dipper's eyes, smiled, and purred, "Is that a phone in your back pocket? Because I can hear that ass calling to my friend Bill here."

Bill's smile widened, and Xanthar's two other companions laughed, slapping him on the back and complimenting him on a job well done. Kryptos pouted, sad of the attention being ripped away from him. Dipper shifted in his seat, wanting nothing more than to run out of there and never show his face again. 

What kind of people do pick-up lines for _someone else?_

"Hey, hey, Dipper," Teeth laughed, his voice still chortled with laughter. "K- kiss Bill if I'm wrong but dinosaurs still exist, right?"

That earned a round of applause, and more people began to join in. Bill didn't have the time to introduce his other friends before they began joining in to this apparent pick-up-lines-for-their-boss battle. 

"Yo Dipper, I think you're lacking a ton of Vitamin Bill."

"Do you have a band-aid? My friend Bill here scrapped his poor knee falling for you!"

"Hey, let's all play Titanic, what do you say, Dipper? You be the ocean and Bill will go down on you."

"Dipper, I'm no weatherman, but you should be expecting thirteen inches coming from Bill tonight."

"Your lips look lonely, Dipper. So does Bill's. You two should meet."

It only stopped when a short guy was in the middle of saying, "Are you Nutella? Because Bill Cipher loves Nutella and he'd love to spread i-!"

"Alright you guys, alright!" Bill laughed, successfully calming down his employees. 

The laughter died down, with a few hints of giggles and chuckles here and there. "The main course is here, my date and I have to eat, you know." There was a chorus of groans at this.

Then, thinking for a while, Bill said, "Eh, tease him later." That caused them to cheer and whoop, and Dipper buried his face in his hands.

He didn't look up even when the stampeding footsteps left to go return to the back of the room, or when the sound of a plate being put down in front of them was heard. He didn't even look up when he heard hushed whispers between Bill and what sounded like Pyronica.

He only looked up when Bill boldly told him, "You're fine, Pine Tree. They're gone and our food's here."

So Dipper lifted his head, thankful that his internal hell was over- well, at least for now. 

In front of them was a silver platter, their soup gone and their wines refilled to the brim. Bill smiled softly across from him, watching him with eyes that glowed happily. The candles behind them just made Bill look that much more attractive, and for once, Dipper couldn't drop his eyes. 

They stared at each other.

Lovingly, creepily, weirdly- he honestly didn't know. He just knew that they just _stared,_ looking into each other's eyes with no words coming between them. Bill's lips parted ever so slightly, and Dipper couldn't help but let his eyes wander, even for a moment, to his mouth. He had the sudden urge to just- reach over and _kiss_ him.

But Dipper stopped himself, swallowing and looking back up at Bill's eyes. Bill was still looking at him, as if he was daydreaming- a cloudy look to his eyes, his lips twitched into a half-conscious smile, and a dreamy look and aura. 

"Uh- Bill?" Dipper called out awkwardly, waving a hand in front of his date's face.

Bill finally snapped out of it, looking at Dipper almost apologetically. "Oh, sorry," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Here, let me."

His date reached over between them with an arm, putting his hand on top of the handle and lifting it up. He smiled, putting the top away on the table right next to them. 

It was a large plate of spaghetti. Just one large plate of it, complete with enormous meatballs and sauce. Two forks sat beside the plate. 

Carefully and gently, Bill took one of the forks, plunging it into the spaghetti and twisting it around until the strings were around the fork. 

Dipper took a fork of his own, a little surprised that they had to share a plate, but content with it nonetheless. He was just about to plunge his fork into the spaghetti when Bill held up his own to Dipper's face. 

Dipper's eyes flickered up over to Bill. "Uh, Bill, you do know that I have a fork of my-?"

"I know, I know," Bill told him, that smile of his still there. The candles that shone an ember color behind Bill made the man look...less intimidating. Like a cute little teddy bear. Dipper almost snorted at the sudden thought, feeling his ears tingle with flusteredness. 

Dipper shook his head when Bill put it up higher, urging him to take a bite. He felt like a goddamn toddler. "Bill, seriously, I-"

"Eat it!" Bill whined. "Eat it, eat it, eat it! Just one bite, you'll like it!"

Dipper wrinkled his nose, leaning away from the moving fork coming closer to his mouth. "I know I'll like it, Bill, but I don't have to be fucking _spoon-fed,_ I'm-"

"Please?" Bill asked, his eyes wide. They looked like puppy dog eyes, and Dipper almost gave in right then and there. " _Please,_ Dipper?"

Behind Bill, the shouts and giggles as eavesdroppers watched them silenced. No one spoke. No one laughed. Dipper's brow knitted. Why on Earth-?

"They're silent because I've never begged for anything in my life before," Bill explained to him. "And kid, the word is sticking to my mouth like gross paper so _please_ just do it so I could stop saying the word _please._ "

Dipper gulped. So reluctantly, he opened his mouth, and let Bill place the fork inside his mouth carefully. His lips closed around it, and Bill pulled the fork away.

Dipper chewed, slowly and carefully as he tasted the spaghetti. Wow. It actually tasted way better than he expected. It was better than his own sister's cooking, and that was saying a whole freaking lot.

He swallowed, and Bill grinned at him. Dipper realized that Bill was leaning in towards him, his elbows tucked in and looking at Dipper excitedly. Dipper almost leaned back, heat and labored breathing mixing in the situation he was in. "Do you like it?"

"I love it, actually," Dipper assured him, picking up his fork once again. 

But Bill was having none of that. He took his fork again, plunging it back to the large bowl of spaghetti and twisting the handle to get some more on it. He lifted it back to Dipper's lips with eyes that reminded the brunet of an accomplished child. 

Dipper led him feed him again. And then again. And again. 

Until eventually, that was how they were eating dinner. 

Somehow, Bill convinced the brunet to pick up his own abandoned fork to feed _him_ too. Dipper was a little embarrassed feeding his first date, something that felt like it was have came out of a Disney movie. Or any romance cliche novel or movie for that matter.

They were quiet, looking into each other's eyes as they fed one another. They giggled and laughed when spaghetti sauce would stain their chins or when the spaghetti would hang out of their mouths. At one point, they even threw spaghetti at each others' faces, laughing and guffawing at the faces they made.

And somewhere near the end, when their laughs quieted down, Dipper saw a stain on Bill's chin and leaned over, using his thumb to wipe it off. Bill muttered his thanks, and Dipper would have sworn he was going to pull back.

But sadly, no he definitely didn't. Instead, his eyes half closed and he ran his thumb over Bill's bottom lip, and Bill watched him silently, wondering what Dipper was trying to do.

If he wasn't so into the moment, he would have heard the giggles and manly and girly squeals of delight as he did so. He would have heard the heated whispering and arguments, the instruments quietly clanging together and the shushes that came after.

He wouldn't have been so surprised to fall back into his chair when instruments began playing, and a sweet mellow voice began to sing. 

 _"There you see him, sitting there across the way. He don't got a lot to say, but there's something about him,"_ a voice sang. 

Bill and Dipper shared looks of matching surprise, but Bill's was more reserved than Dipper's startled one. The instruments were slow, a little quiet, tuned to sound like a slow love song. Bill smiled at him reassuringly, and Dipper couldn't help but feel his face heat up, lowering his eyes to the table. 

 _"And you don’t know why but you’re dying to try,"_ the voice sang quietly, coming up beside Dipper. Kryptos put his hand on Dipper's cheeks and forced him to look back up at a softly smiling Bill.

 _"You wanna kiss the boy,"_ Kryptos said, letting go of Dipper's face. 

 _"Yes, you want him- look at him, you know you do,"_ he sang again, the percussion, strings and winds coming up around the table. 

 _"It’s possible he wants you, too-"_  

Bill grinned.

_"-there's one way to ask him."_

_"It don’t take a word, not a single word!"_ Kryptos sang, lifting Dipper out of his seat despite the boy's protests. Bill laughed as his employees took him underneath the armpits and lifted him up too.

_"Go on and- kiss the boy!"_

The instruments became louder, more fast-paced and happier. It made Dipper crack a smile as people with instruments or batons went around him and Bill in circles, keeping the two love birds apart for now. Bill laughed and beamed, looking extremely pleased with what was happening. What Dipper was only thinking though was- what kind of cafe has spare instruments in the back?

 _"Sing with me now- sha-la-la-la-la-la , my, oh, my!"_ Kryptos sang happily, sidling up beside Bill, tilting his chin up to look at Dipper. 

 _"Look at the boy too shy-_ " he sang, pointing at the red-faced Dipper, whose face turned even redder. _"He ain’t gonna kiss the boy!"_

 _"Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain’t that sad, ain’t it shame, too bad,"_ he kept singing, pulling Bill back, actually restraining him from going towards Dipper. It made Dipper laugh, and the instruments went on louder and cheerier.

_"You gonna miss the boy."_

"I won't if you'll just kindly stop holding me back!" Bill yelled at him. There was no malice in his voice- just laughter and happiness, enjoying the moment. 

The instruments went on, giving them a singing break. The employees danced right around them, keeping them apart, stretching their impatience more than it should. Dipper looked up at Bill with an exasperated look, who gave him a shrug back in return. Bill smiled, making a J with his fingers- telling him to smile, or else they won't give them what they want. So Dipper smiled back. 

 _"Now’s your moment, you little dense buffoon-"_ Bill hit Kryptos behind the head, but the man didn't stop.

_"Bill, you better do it soon, no time will be better. He don’t say a word, and he won’t say a word, until you kiss the boy!"_

And finally, the people began to thin, and Bill and Dipper were able to see each other better as everyone clapped and laughed.

_"Sha-la-la-la-la-la , don’t be scared, you got the mood prepared, go on and kiss the boy!"_

Someone poked Dipper's back, pushing him forward. Bill was getting the same treatment.

_"Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don’t stop now, don’t try to hide it how, you wanna kiss the boy, sha-la-la-la-la-la, float along , listen to the song, the song say kiss the boy!"_

Then they bumped into each other, laughing as they pulled away from each other. But those sneaky bastards bumped them back together, and Bill had no choice but to hold onto Dipper unless he wanted the poor boy to fall.

_"Sha-la-la-la-la-la, music play, do what the music say, you wanna kiss the boy!"_

Bill looked down at him, smiling softly. "Hey," Bill whispered. 

"Hey yourself," Dipper laughed, pulling away slightly from his date to look at him. 

 _"You’ve got to kiss the boy-"_ Kryptos said more urgently, almost breaking out of his Sebastian character. _"Why don’t you kiss the boy?"_ Definitely more urgent.

Bill laughed, dipping his forehead against Dipper's. Their breaths mingled, the instruments quieted down, and Dipper's eyes half closed. Their heartbeats beat together as one- slow, powerful. Beating for one another.

_"You gotta- kiss the boy-"_

Bills's hands found Dipper's waist, pulling him close. Bill laughed at Dipper's reddened face and even redder nose, touching his nose with his. Almost as if it was on natural reflex, Dipper's arms went around Bill's face, pulling him down. "Do you want to?" he asked the brunet in the most confident voice Dipper had ever heard- or he would have thought, if he did not hear the slight fear of rejection in them.

Dipper moved his lips closer to Bill, their lips just barely, _barely_ touching. "Yes," he breathed.

_"Go on and...kiss the boy."_

And they did.

They didn't know which person moved first, but honestly it didn't matter. That was because the moment that their lips touched, sparks flew and they were kissing. Dipper could taste the aftertaste of wine on Bill's mouth, the softness and eagerness of the other man's lips. Their hearts beat rapidly in their chests, pounding and strong. Dipper put his fingers in Bill's hair, something he had always wanted to do since he first saw the handsome waiter. It was only yesterday, but it felt even longer. Dipper's heart was pounding so heavily in his chest, that he thought it sounded like beating wings.

Maybe the blood rushing in his ears was the reason why he didn't hear the shouts and cheers and _screams_ as they kissed.

"YOOOOOOO, GO GET THAT ASS, BOY, _OH SHIT!"_ Kryptos screamed, jumping up and down as he grabbed onto Hector and shook him. Hector shook him back, a childish grin on his face.

"THAT'S OUR BOY!" whooped Pyronica. 

"SHIVER ME TIMBERS, CAPTAIN CIPHER FOUND THE BOOTAY!"

A trumpet blasted out a victory song, and the percussion people banged on their instruments so hard that Dipper might have thought he went deaf. 

"WHOOP WHOOP PARTY AT MY PLACE, WE'RE CELEBRATING THE TIME BILL FUCKING CIPHER FINALLY HAS THE BALLS TO KISS HIM!" shouted one of the employees.

The ruckus went on for so long, with Bill trying his hardest to calm them down, but to no avail. The boy didn't even look mad- he actually looked, well, _happy._

Dipper, breathless and still in shock from his first kiss on his first freaking date, sat down on the nearest chair, watching everyone scream their lungs out and shout their praises for "gettin' that booty".

When everything settled down, the last thing the employees wanted to do was get in one last song before Dipper had to go home and sleep this off and hope that it wasn't all a dream. 

They began to play a waltz- slow, meaningful, but still containing the happiness and memories from before. 

A hand outstretched to him, and Dipper looked up. Bill smiled, a request that didn't need to be spoken.

Dipper took it, standing up with help from his date. "You're extremely smooth, you know that?" he laughed. He had a feeling Bill set this all up.

"I've been told," Bill chuckled, entwining his hands with Dipper's and rocking them to a slow beat. Not a slow dance, not really. Just them talking and holding hands like the love sick idiots they were. Behind them, the ones who weren't playing instruments were cooing and taking pictures of them, whispering how much they "shipped them harder than FedEx". Dipper didn't dare ask what it meant. 

"You know," Dipper began, nodding his head to Bill's laughing friends/employees. "Your friends are really pumped over this. On a first date too. Haven't they met your other dates too?"

"Yes, yes of course," Bill said distractedly. "But those dates were just that- dates. Nothing more to get to know that person and they...didn't think I had much chemistry with any of them."

"So what makes me so special?" Dipper asked with a furrowed brow and a matching frown. "I mean, I'm just plain old Dipper Pines. I'm probably not as attractive as your other dates, or have a great personality compared to the others."

Bill tilted his head at him in curiosity. "You think you're not attractive enough?"

"Well uh, I- I uh-" Dipper stammered, his face tingling. He cleared his throat, his face relaxing in defeat. "No. No, not really, Bill."

" _Mon chéri,_ looks don't matter to me," whispered Bill, tucking a strand of curly bangs away from Dipper's face. "I asked you to come here because your personality is what drew me to you. I heard your conversation with your sister, and your ambitions and spunk just clung on, ya know? And besides-"

Bill took a deep breath. "That's why I thought you spoke French," Bill told him, tilting his head as he inspected Dipper's face- for a reaction, maybe. "If your personality wasn't enough, you look absolutely stunning to me. My last dates- they were all French and extremely attractive- though I think you outmatch them all. I thought that I dunno, maybe you were too because no one as alluring as you can not be French."

Dipper laughed. "That's the weirdest reason I've ever heard."

Bill grinned, a twinkle in his eyes. "Well, I'm weird, you're weird, let's get married, hmm?"

"When we're older," Dipper said sarcastically. Then he realized it sounded serious, and his eyes widen and he tried to cover it up. 

Bill simply laughed, squeezing his hands. "When we're older," Bill confirmed, "although...you haven't answered the question I have."

"What is it?" Dipper frowned.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Dipper inhaled sharply, looking over at Bill. "Bill, I-"

"You can say no," Bill quickly added. His rocking from side to side stopped a little, but the music did not. "I won't bash you or have any grudges or anything. I was just wondering if maybe...ya know?" Bill laughed off his slightly nervous words. 

Bill let go of one of Dipper's hands to rub the back of his neck. "Dipper, you might not know this but-" He stopped, clamping his mouth shut and grinding it a little. It looked like he was a little conflicted.

"Know what?" Dipper frowned. "Bill, you can tell me anything. I won't say anything bad about it."

"Well," Bill sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. "I go to the same college as you, Dipper. You may have never seen me before but I've certainly noticed you. Your sister pointed me out to you, being the social butterfly she is, and you were alone in a party all those months ago. I've always had the urge to talk to you, but I never actually did because I was afraid you'd shoot me down."

Then Bill rubbed his face. Dipper noticed that the tips of his ears were flaming red, the sign that the man was extremely embarrassed. "I always talked about you to my coworkers, you know," Bill finally said, admitting his defeat that Dipper had a right to know. "That's why when they saw you come into the cafe, they _flipped._ Then they told me you were there and I um- it kind of took me a while to compose myself."

"You- you liked me?" Dipper sputtered out.

"Well, of course," Bill told him bluntly, He took Dipper's hands again, but looked down at their clasped fingers. "I always had. You think I'd treat out like this if I didn't?"

"W- well I just thought that's how dates work so I just assumed-" Dipper stuttered.

"Oh, shut up," Bill laughed, pulling the brunet close to his body. They rocked from side to side to the slow music, not one of them daring to speak. 

It was only when Bill took a deep inhale and exhale did Dipper chose to speak. "Yes."

"Yes to what, Pine Tree?" Bill chuckled. 

"To being yours."

"I-" For once, Bill Cipher was the one to stammer and have no words to express. 

"Oh," was what he settled for.

Dipper couldn't help but laugh, pulling away from Bill's chest to look at him. He bopped his nose with Bill's, earning a small teasing pout in return. He pulled Bill closer to him with his own tie, pressing his forehead against Bill's.

Finally, the man cracked the biggest smile Dipper had ever seen.

"Do you want me to go or right here, right now?" Bill asked innocently.

Dipper smiled at him and kissed his nose softly. Just a small, little kiss that made Bill close his eyes even for a little.

He mumbled, "To go, please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole time, I had Coffee Shop Love by Ryan Higa blasting out. 
> 
> ALSO- someone please send a link to this chapter to the hot barista at my local Starbucks lol.


	3. Parental Advisory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill meets Dipper's parents, and he's got a special request. He's got this. At least he thinks so. 
> 
> (A request from the one and only CharaUndertale on AO3. I wrote this late into the night, and I didn't know what I was writing. It started out with Bill being known as the demon overlord and everyone freaking out but...this happened.)

"Bill, you're shaking."

"Am not!"

"Yes you are."

"Maybe it's because I'm excited, _duh,_ Pine Tree!"

Dipper huffed out a breath, his back sliding against the passenger seat of Bill's old car. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking out the window to his right instead of looking at his obviously shaking boyfriend. 

Bill grinned to himself, chortling that he had won the battle this time. 

Of course, the battle was literally just three seconds of dialogue between them, but still. Every victory against his dork of a Pine Tree was to be celebrated. Hopefully, with wine!

But ugh. He made a face to himself, turning the corner and using his turn signal to indicate where he was going (Pine Tree hated it when he didn't). Unfortunately for him, he couldn't drink wine tonight. He needed to leave a good impression on two particular people who would probably decide his fate for the decision he was making later. 

"You know, my parents aren't that scary. You've met my Grunkles, and they're the scariest people on this planet," Dipper told him with a shiver. True, Dipper's Grunkle Stan and Ford were scary. But _still._

"Who said I was scared?" Bill chirped. As if to defy his own words, the palms on the steering wheel began to sweat. Goddamn it. Why can't he be a demonic overlord with thousands of demon followers instead of being a stupid _human?_

"Well, you're shaking and sweating. And you're laughing more than usual," Dipper deadpanned. 

Bill let out a somewhat nervous laugh. 

"C'mon Pine Tree, you got to be more sympathetic for your boyfriend!" Bill scolded, trying to get out the jitters from his system. "I knew your Grunkles even back before I started being your smooch buddy! But your parents..." He shivered for effect. 

"You've met Mabel. You've met my Grunkles. They act exactly like the three of them if they were to be combined," Dipper assured him. "Just act like how you'd act with Mabel and my Grunkles, and you'll be fine."

"How do I act like two middle aged people are simultaneously like a hyperactive twenty two year old on smile dip and two old men with a knack for boats?" Bill grumbled. 

"You act the same to each and every single one of them," Dipper pointed out. "Which, by the way, is by laughing if they get stuck on top of a tree and yelling, 'Hey, you're a pine tree topper! Get it?'."

Well, to be fair, Pine Tree had a point. 

They hit a particularly bumpy spot on the road, causing Bill's car to buck upwards in its wake. Bill's hand automatically flew to the small gift-wrapped box on his lap, holding it steady while his other hand stayed on the wheel. He grunted when his head hit the top of his small car, shaking his head afterwards like the pain would go away. 

"You alright, kid?" Bill said in concern, looking sideways to look at Dipper. To his relief, Dipper was perfectly fine, just merely rubbing his eyes to get the tiredness out. He still looked like the sleepy brunet he fell in love with. 

"Fine, fine," Dipper mumbled, yawning soon afterwards. Then his soft brown eyes landed on Bill, then to Bill's lap. He frowned. 

"You seriously didn't have to get my parents gifts, you know," Dipper told him, "they'll love you either way."

Bill _pssshed,_ waving a hand in his direction in dismissal. "Of course they'll love me!" Bill exclaimed. "I'm goddamn lovable! Have you _seen_ me?"

"Every night when I fall asleep," Dipper said with a roll of his eyes. He hiked himself further up the seat, his butt already threatening to fall off the edge of his seat from how far down his back was against the leather seat. He wiggled in his seat like an impatient little boy, shaking the curls out of his face. Bill's lips quirked slightly as he watched his lover out of the corner of his eye. "And you look like a serial killer when you sleep."

"Wow," Bill grumbled, "way to ruin the moment, Pine Tree. I thought we were having a moment."

Dipper snorted out a laugh in return. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say, babe."

Bill gave him a grin, eyes twinkling in amusement. "We've been dating since high school," Bill began slowly, putting pressure on the gas pedal of his car. "We've went to prom together. We went to the same college and dorm. We went on vacation to France for our fifth anniversary since our first date. We had sex on several occasions, including one in an eleva-"

"Okay, okay!" Dipper interrupted, red in the face with eyes wide in mortification. 

"-but your parents haven't met me and they still think we're _friends?"_ Bill finished, giving Dipper a weird look. "And your Grunkles too?"

The brunet deflated, hanging his head in shame. He turned his body away from Bill, looking out the window in an attempt to look casual and to- _ahem_ \- not face his boyfriend's wrath. "Yeah, well." He shrugged, a weak attempt to once again, look casual. Bill smirked. 

"I mean, each time I tried to get them to meet you and vise versa, something would always go wrong," Dipper told him. "Then I mean, I thought they knew you were my boyfriend like, centuries ago, but I guess...not?" he ended meekly. 

Bill huffed out a breath, pretending to seem irritated and hurt by the situation. In all honesty, he found the whole thing hilarious! Pine Tree's parents think he's just a friend? HA! What person would fuck their friend intimately almost every time they meet and kiss them on the lips? Well, perhaps friends with benefits but- that's besides the point! 

And anyway, Bill didn't find the situation really funny anymore. Not that they were on their way to their home in Piedmont. 

Yes, they drove his old car all the way from Gravity Falls to Piedmont. Yes, he was crazy for agreeing to this in the first place. Yes, he was going to die tonight. If not from embarrassment, then probably from being thrown off the house's roof for announcing he was their son's boyfriend since goddamn high school.

"So they just hit you up by asking you, 'Hey son, it would be nice if you went to dinner with us with your friend, Bill!'?" Bill asked in slight disbelief. When his Pine Tree told him, he almost laughed in his boyfriend's face. Well, that was until Bill saw the utter panic in his brown eyes. They packed up for Piedmont almost immediately.

Dipper rubbed his neck, scratching the itchy spot there in shame. His nose turned a bright shade of red, something that always happened when the boy became flustered. Bill thought it was absolutely adorable. "Well," Dipper began with a small laugh. "Mabel was visiting there already after she recently finished her arts course. So they thought it would be nice to see their other son that was currently living in their Grunkles' Shack for his 'college course'." Dipper put air quotes around 'college course' and rolled his eyes, making Bill's smirk widen into a smile. They both knew the real reason, of course- it was so Dipper could be with Bill in the small sleepy town. 

"That still doesn't explain the 'bring your friend, Bill' thing," Bill pointed out. 

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose, sniffing once as he thought about it. "They wanted to get to know you," Dipper said dryly. "They heard a lot about you from Mabel, and thought it would be nice to meet their son's 'best friend' and daughter's mutual friend."

"So wouldn't Shooting Star tell them about us?" Bill asked in mild confusion. The girl couldn't keep secrets for more than five hours, even if her life depended on it. And he had a feeling that she was the only one who knew about their relationship. Dipper was her twin, after all!

Dipper coughed. His face turned a scarlet red in shame, his arms crossing over his chest almost protectively as he actively avoided Bill's eye. "Oh, um..." Dipper began, his voice small. "She...may or may not...know about us...?" It ended up sounding more like a question than anything else. 

Bill barked out a laugh. "Typical," he laughed, shaking his head. To be honest, he didn't care if his family knew about them or not. Besides, they were going to know sooner or later. Sure, he should be hurt and betrayed by the fact that his Pine Tree seemed embarrassed with telling his family in the first place, but he let it go. He knew that Dipper wasn't embarrassed- he knew that Dipper just didn't think it was right to tell them. They planned on telling everyone soon, but they never seemed to find the right time. Maybe starting with the parents and his sister might do the trick. 

Then his laugh died out, and a small smile played on his lips. His eyes flickered to the billboard (ha ha, _bill_ board) on the side of the street they were on. They were only a few streets away from Dipper's house. He felt his hands tighten around the steering wheel. He cleared his throat, eyes in front of him with his back straightened. 

Sensing his boyfriend's nervousness, Dipper leaned over, putting a hand on his knee. He squeezed Bill's knee, eyes flickering up to Bill's face. He gave him a small comforting smile, tiny tired wrinkles appearing at the sides of Dipper's eyes as his eyes sparkled. "You'll do fine, Bill," Dipper said softly. 

Bill, almost on impulse, removed one of his hands on the steering wheel to place it on top of Dipper's hand on his knee, squeezing the brunet back. He then took a deep breath, feeling his heart rate slow down at his Pine Tree's words. Bill took Dipper's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it and running his thumb over Dipper's knuckles as a comfort. Dipper laid his head on Bill's shoulder.

Dipper's hand slipped away from his grasp as Bill's hands moved themselves back into their original position on the steering wheel. Bill swallowed the rock-like lump forming in his throat, and forced a big crooked grin on his face. 

"Aw, of course I'll do fine!" Bill proclaimed with that smile of his. "Ha, they'll love me, Pine Tree! They'll freaking _love me!_ And hey, if they don't, they'll just have to learn to live with it, right? Hahaha!" Bill laughed out. Of course they'll love him! Mabel did, their Grunkles eventually did, Pine Tree's friends did! What could go wrong for staying over for dinner for one night? He was the great and powerful Bill Cipher, everyone would love him on sight!

Well, granted, Dipper's Grunkles didn't know they were dating, and Mabel didn't either but- _still!_

Dipper let out a little laugh through his lips, laughing along with Bill. He turned his head, pecking a small kiss on Bill's cheek before laying his head back against his shoulder. He squeezed Bill's bicep, a smile playing on his lips. Bill's cheeks blossomed red at Dipper's touch, and he resisted the urge to clear his throat. Yep, still in love. 

"Well, true," Dipper shrugged. "You were a pain in the ass back then. Like, a real royal pain." At this, Dipper gave Bill a glare, daring him to say the words along the lines of, "Oh, you could've asked me to go slower." But Bill merely stared back at him with raised eyebrows, silently promising he wasn't going to joke around this time. Dipper shook his head in relief, putting his head closer to Bill's shoulder snugly.

"But here we are, in the parents meeting stage." He sighed, his words tired and mumbling. Maybe a little dreamily too. 

Bill's eyes glanced down at him with a small half-smile. "They'll love me. I just know it," he announced confidently. How many times has he said that to himself already? Oh, right. Five thousand, three hundred, ninety seven times. (As if any meat sack would care, reading numbers were overrated).

Dipper laughed again, a quiet modest laugh that tickled the side of his ear and caused Bill to shiver in delight. Hearing his Pine Tree's laugh was like listening to his favorite songs- but, unlike his favorite songs, he never got tired of it. 

The brunet shoved him slightly to the side teasingly, making Bill shove him back with the same amount of force. Bill chuckled, turning the car around to a familiar looking street that Bill had only seen in photos. His heart thrummed in his chest, the butterflies awakening in his stomach as if, "Oh hey look, Bill's getting nervous again!" He almost huffed. He didn't need his stupid body to remind him how nervous he was, and he seriously didn't need to throw up because of it. 

"I know," Dipper told him. "You're the world's biggest dork. I'm sure they'll love you."

Bill looked down at him for a brief moment, lips curling up in a soft smile. "As much as you love me?" he asked hopefully. 

Dipper nudged him carefully. "Not quite, Cipher," Dipper warned. Bill pouted. 

Then the boy pretended to think, looking up at the roof of the old car as he tapped his chin in thought, becoming quiet for a good moment while Bill's heart drummed in his chest, as if it wanted to escape the car and run all the way back to Gravity Falls and stay put there. Bill wanted to yell after his heart, screaming, "Wait up! I brought the Nutella!"

"Maybe two percent of how much I love you," Dipper finally said. "And because you're so stupid, let me put this into perspective for you- two percent is still a shit ton."

Bill nudged him back. "I love you more," Bill teased.

They parked in front of Dipper's house. 

Welp. Bill was utterly screwed, was he not?

Inhale. Exhale. Okay, okay- the worst thing that could happen was that they would reject him and throw him out of the house with pitchforks. The best thing that would happen was that they would welcome him with big hugs and chicken soup. The best-bestest thing that could happen was that they would agree to his plan, and he could-

"Bill? Bill? Are you okay?" called out Dipper, looking extremely concerned as he waved a hand in front of Bill. His brow knitted together, a slight frown on his lips as he snapped his fingers to try and get his boyfriend out of the trance he was apparently in.

Inhale. Exhale. He was fine. He was Bill Cipher. He could charm anyone and everyone and his boyfriend's parents weren't an exception. He was _fine._ Completely and utterly fine. 

"Bill? Oh jeez," Dipper huffed, rolling his eyes. 

Inhale. Exhale. He was Bill Cipher. He may have the biggest ego on this planet but that was because he deserved it. Someone might as well give him a crown because no one can be as fabulous as him. 

"Dude, stop staring off into space like you're on The Office!"

Okay, okay- he could do this. He was fine. All he needed to do was win their favor and approach them after dinner about it, and they'd cry from joy, and they would hug him, and wish him good luck, and Pine Tree would say yes, and everything would-

"Bill, if you don't get out of this car right now, I'm not going to have sex with you tonight."

"What? Why?!" Bill demanded, turning his head around to look at Dipper in horror. 

Dipper grunted, already opening his car door. "There you are."

The brunet crawled out of the car, closing it shut after him as he stretched his back after a long road trip all the way from Oregon to Piedmont. He walked all the way over to the trunk of the car, taking his only backpack filled with belongings for the night. He took up Bill's too, closing the trunk while Bill still sat in the car, hands clenched on the steering wheel with the wrapped box on his lap feeling heavy. 

Inhale. Exhale. His heart rate slowed down. His head thrummed like a headache, screaming at him that this was _definitely_ a bad idea. Goddamn it, why did he even _agree_ to things like this? Going on top of the mountain and jumping off was better than meeting parents! Christ, Pine Tree!

He shook the negative thoughts out of his head, scowling to himself. Sheesh, he should really stop thinking negatively. He was thinking like Dipper- which, by the way, was a bad thing. 

Bill opened his car door, stepping out with the gift-wrapped box pressed close to his body with an arm, the other arm outstretched to his boyfriend for his own backpack. Dipper passed it over to him, and Bill hiked it up his shoulder. He closed his car door, coming around the car to stand beside Dipper.

They stood next to each other, staring at a plain house with matching blank looks. The house itself wasn't much to look at it- just an old square white home with a brown roof. It didn't look too fancy or too broke. 

Dipper's hand slipped into Bill's, entwining their fingers together. Dipper squeezed his hand, nudging him and giving him a smile. "Act natural, don't do anything stupid, don't shout out we're dating just yet, and you'll do fine, alright?" Dipper said. 

Bill squeezed his hand back. He could feel his palms sweating, and hoped that Pine Tree didn't mind. "Okay." _Nope, not okay,_ was what he was looking for. 

Dipper planted a kiss on his lips, going on his tip-toes to do so. "Good," he murmured.

Bill smiled at him, taking a deep breath that rattled his bones. Then he exhaled, turning his head back to the front of the house. Just walk down the lawn and ring the doorbell. That's all he had to do. 

So that's what they did. Hand in hand, they walked down the pavement of the Pines' house, each step signalling his closer death. His heart ran a steady beat in his ears, taunting him of the fear that nestled deep in his gut. _They're going to hate you,_ his mind whispered. _They're going to be disgusted that this was the boy that's dating their son and throw you out because you were never good enough._

 _I'm Bill Cipher. I'm better than everyone else! What the hell are you talking about, mind?_ Bill gritted. 

_Yes, but do you really think they'll allow you to be caught up with their only son?_

Now, here's the thing. If Bill was here just to chat and have dinner with his parents, he would have been fine. Hell, he would have liked it! Joke with the dad, chat up with the mom, the works. He already got along with their daughter and their uncles/uncles-in-law, so he saw no threat in announcing he was their son's boyfriend. He would have bathed in the praise of Pine Tree's parents cooing over their cute love story, and simply smirked at Dipper's Grunkles' threats. He would have relished in the shocked look on Mabel Pines's face, then grinned as she bounced around the house squealing after the surprise wore off. 

Of all times his parents had to ask him to join dinner with them, why now? He shivered. It was such a freaky coincidence that last week, he was planning to meet them for his plan, only to be told they were invited over for dinner. It was the world was telling him, _yo, just get the Pine Tree booty already!_

He was jarred back to reality when Pine Tree knocked on the door once, twice, and then to a series of knocks like they were in some sort of fight club. Almost as soon as he did so, Dipper let go of his hand. 

When Bill glanced at him with a quirked brow, Dipper shrugged. "Mabel insisted we use secret knocks for these kinds of things. Makes it easier that it's one of us when somebody comes to the door," Dipper explained. 

"Oh," was his weak response. 

Before they could say anything else, the door swung open, making Bill step backwards in surprise. He blinked. Well, that was rather quick. 

In front of them stood two middle-aged people with matching stony looks. One was a woman in a dress, her hair a dirty blonde and her eyes a bright blue. The man, on the other hand, was wearing a simple dress shirt and tie, his hair brown and his eyes the same color. It was easy to tell which parent the twins took after. 

"Welcome home, Dipper," their dad said in a gravelly voice that made Bill cringe back. 

Bill looked over at Dipper. He had the same stony face as his parents, seeming less like the smiling brunet he was used to. The boy nodded at his parents. "It's good to see the both of you. Mom. Dad," he said in a bored tone. 

Bill's jaw unhinged slightly. _What?_

Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck-_ abort mission, _abort mission!_ What the hell?! He thought his parents were these cool folks who acted cheery and nice, not- not _this._ Oh _God-_ what was he going to _do?!_ He can't just abandon his plan, he needed to do it, he had to, but he can't do it now because Dipper's pa-!

And before he knew it, both pairs of eyes turned to him. His sweat ran cold down his back as he gave them his tightest smile, straining to keep it there. He clutched the box to his chest, before realizing that he needed to give it to them. "F- for the both of you," he squeaked out, handing over the box. 

Was it him, or did their eyes betray good-natured surprise?

Pine Tree's mother took the box and held it to her chest gingerly, and Bill held back a wince. He could almost _feel_ their disgust from here. Oh no, oh no, oh no, they didn't like it, they hated him already, they-

"And what's in this...poorly gift-wrapped box you have given us?" the dad sniffed, wrinkling his nose as he leaned in to look at the box with his wife. He folded his hands behind him like a stern butler, but the vision didn't help enough to ease Bill's panic. 

"Oh- um," Bill began, sweat trickling down the side of his face. "T- there's a brand new tie and earrings for the both of you, I- I suppose." He let out a laugh, but it sounded anxious even to him. "The- the tie is for the man in the family, of course, and the earrings for the lo- lovely lady. If- if you want to switch it, that's fine. I won't judge! Really, I won't! I-"

"That is enough," the woman snapped. 

Bill's mouth clamped shut, feeling himself shrink backwards. Never in his life had he felt so...so _disrespected_. How dare this woman oppress him like this! 

Though, he thought with a mental sigh, he couldn't just punch her and walk away like a badass like what he would usually do. This was his boyfriend's mother and he couldn't just do that. He needed her favor anyway. He grinded his teeth together. 

The two parents looked at each other for a brief moment, then nodded stiffly at each other. The mother sighed, looking back at Bill.  "This is my husband, Michael, but you shall address him as Mr. Pines today. Same goes for me as Mrs. Pines, but if need be, my first name is Melissa," she stated rigidly. 

Then the father began to talk about the house rules and what is to be expected of Bill in the household, things that Dipper had already implanted into his mind ever since they began living together. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, looking down and refusing to meet their eyes. He nodded along as if he was listening, but to be quite honest, he wasn't. Their voices droned on and on and on...

"And you, young man, what is your name?" the father barked sternly. 

His voice startled the crap out of Bill, and he got an elbow to the ribs when he didn't respond right away. Dipper made a hand gesture at him to continue, begging him with his eyes to keep going and not making a fool of himself before the night was even ready to begin. 

  "O- oh, it's um, nice to- to meet the both of you, honestly- I- I'm- my name is- um- uhhh-" Bill stammered, playing with his now empty hands as he tried to explain that his name was Bill. It was like he was in kindergarten all over again!

Behind Dipper's parents, a flash of a pink sweater blinked out of his sight, reappearing to squeeze in between her parents, her parents simply moving an inch to allow her space with not as much as a blink. Mabel grinned at him, genuinely surprised to see her old friend come to visit. It made Bill stutter more. 

Bill swore he saw a twinkle of amusement in the parents' eyes as their lips twitch slightly. He brushed this off, thinking that it was just his wishful thinking of happy-go-lucky parents. 

"My name is um, Billy! Bill, I mean! Billy is fine if you want b- but I like Bill better because that's what I was addressed as when I was a little boy and even in the womb probably and-"  Bill began with wide eyes. 

"That is enough, young man," Mr. Pines said dryly. "It is time for dinner."

Bill blinked, swallowing the embarrassing lump in his throat. He wrung his hands, shrinking away from their gazes. Mabel, still the hyperactive kid he knew from all those summers ago, grinned at him and flashed him the thumbs up, snickering to herself from his shameful words. Seriously? He groaned to himself. All he had to do was say his name was Bill Cipher and all of this would have been over with!

The three at the front door simultaneously turned around, much to his startled surprise. They disappeared into the house, causing Dipper to tug on his shirt with a roll of his eyes to get them to move forward and into the house. 

Their house was way bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, that was for sure. Their carpet was soft and their house smelled a lot like chocolate chip cookies and new candles. It didn't look like a house for two stern parents, that was for sure. 

Bill, suspicious as ever, took off his shoes and walked through the carpet, looking for anything that indicated that Dipper used to live here. The house was a clean freak's dream, for one. The carpet looked freshly vacuumed, the furniture looked polished, and any sign of recreational things were just gone. Paintings hung on the walls, both from formal artists from the Renaissance era and modern paintings made by Mabel herself. There was even a photograph of the four family members together, posing in front of a waterfall with tourist clothes on them. 

Bill's lips turned up in a smirk, and he looked over at Dipper. "Is that a baby picture of you?" Bill asked innocently, nodding his head to the baby picture on the wall near the stairs. A brown-haired two year old sucked on his foot while another with feminine features looked straight at the camera with a dimpled smile. 

Dipper blushed. "I kept asking them to take that down," Dipper mumbled, lowering his head in shame.

Bill laughed softly at his embarrassment, stepping toward him with his arms outstretched, about to pepper him with kisses as he usually did when Dipper felt a little less like himself.

Dipper pushed his face away with a palm, wrinkling his nose. "Dude!" he hissed. "Parents. Remember?"

Bill grunted. "Right, sorry."

Dipper shook his head, heaving out a breath. He blew the bangs out of his eyes, glancing at the open entrance to the kitchen where his parents and sister was. Then he glanced back at Bill, slipping the backpack down to the floor with a dull thump. Bill did the same, subconsciously copying his lover. 

The brunet licked his lips, glancing at Bill's lips, then to his eyes. 

Because he couldn't help it anymore, Bill growled under his breath, stomping forward and pulling Dipper close to his body, kissing him deep. Dipper put the flat of his hands on Bill's chest, sighing out distractedly as he kissed back with the same fervor. 

Then Dipper pushed him away lightly, giving him one last peck on the lips before leaving him. He coughed in slight shame at his lost of control, rubbing the back of his neck. "S- sorry, I just wanted to kiss you," Dipper told him quietly. 

"No, it's okay. I was the one who pulled you in anyway," Bill purred, kissing the side of his forehead. He glanced at the entrance to the kitchen, thankful that no one saw their stolen kiss. He ran his fingertips underneath Dipper's shirt, grazing his side carefully. He could feel Dipper melt underneath his touch, and he knew the boy was trying his hardest to stop him. 

Bill kissed his neck this time, a lingering kiss that made Dipper's hands clench at his sides to stop them from shaking or doing something he would soon regret. "Do you want to continue this after dinner, Pine Tree?" Bill whispered teasingly in his ear. 

Dipper shuddered, but refused to acknowledge Bill's request. Instead, he took hold of Bill's wrist, pulling him into the kitchen with a scowl on his face. 

"I'll take that as a yes," Bill chirped. 

Before Dipper could elbow his side to shut him up, a gruff voice called out, "Yes what?"

Dipper and Bill's heads simultaneously snapped up in surprise, both pairs of eyes wide with panic. In front of them were not only his parents and twin, but another set of twins known as Stan and Ford. 

The two were already sitting on the dinner table, a set of food out in front of them, but not yet touched. In fact, everyone was already sitting except for them, two empty chairs with food ready. Bill wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. _Oh no,_ he moaned in his mind. 

What was this? The "Hey, we're here to watch you finally tell us you're dating each other!" club?

Dipper, being the first to break out of his mini trance, moved to his seat, sitting down and pulling his chair closer to the table. 

Bill cleared his throat, deciding to do the same. He sat down with Dipper to his left and Mabel to his right, the twins' parents right across from them. Currently, Mr. Pines was standing up to get the turkey from the oven, placing the large dish in the middle of the table with neon blue mittens covering his hands. 

"There. A perfectly good turkey to serve all," he announced proudly, sitting down beside his wife.

"This is a very well-done turkey, Michael," Ford commented, poking the turkey with a fork. His other hand rubbed his chin in thought, his brow raised as usual. Beside him, his brother Stanley was already taking a leg, ripping into it with his bare hands and a satisfied look on his face. 

"Thank you," Mr. Pines beamed. He scooted his chair further, placing a handkerchief on his lap with his back rigid like he was eating with the Queen of England. "Although, it was my wife's recipe. But I don't mind taking credit once in a while. You don't mind, do you, honey?"

Everyone around the table laughed, including Bill, who reluctantly laughed along softly to make him seem like less like an outcast. Beside him, Mabel was already putting a bunch of gravy on her mashed potatoes, reaching over to grab some turkey parts. Dipper was doing the same. It seemed like the feast had begun.

Bill shifted his weight on his chair, taking the gravy from Mabel quietly to pour some on his mashed potatoes. Usually, he'd be chatting everyone up right now, capturing them in some amazing story from back in Gravity Falls and they'd 'oooh' and 'aaah' along. But right now, he was acting less like himself. His stomach churned, telling him that if he were to eat right now, his stomach would need a bathroom immediately. 

It seemed like the entire table came alive, with people talking among themselves about taxes or some story they were dying to tell about. Stan and Ford caught up with Shermie's kid and significant other, bellowing laughter coming from the four of them once in a while as they exchanged stories. From what Bill could hear from where he was, Stan and Ford recently got off the Stan O' War just last week and decided to visit the Pines ( _What a huge coincidence,_ Bill thought sourly). 

To his right and left, Dipper and Mabel chatted each other up, catching each twin on their lives from being apart. Mabel told him that she got accepted into CalArts (in which Dipper literally spat out his drink everywhere), and that she was working with a nice man named Alex Hirsch on a new project. 

"It's like a show for kids, but for adults too!" Mabel whooped as she talked about the new show they were planning to make. "You have no idea how many adult jokes can go over kids' minds, Dipper. Hirsch is a fucking genius!"

Dipper, in exchange, told her about the Shack and how it was holding up, avoiding the subject in which he may or may not be dating the boy subtly eating mashed potatoes next to her. Instead, he briefly commented that Bill got promoted at the Shack as a manager from Soos, making Mabel pat him on the back hardly in congratulation.

With everyone busy with everyone else, Bill played with his food mindlessly, wondering how long he should wait until he could excuse himself and not make it look suspicious. Maybe everyone would think he's invisible, and nothing bad could happen, and he could get out of here before-

"Daddy, can you pass the salt?" Dipper asked, his head nodding to the salt shaker too far away.

"Yes, of cou-" his dad smiled, shifting his weight so he could reach over. 

As his dad reached over to take the salt, another hand was on the other side, clamped around the shaker with a vise-like grip. Bill's eyes flickered back up to the face of the man, who looked as horrified as he was. 

"I- I- uh- er-" Bill stuttered, his hand still gripped around the shaker.

The whole table became quiet, watching the two of them grip the shaker and look at each other with matching looks of horror. It was like a contest, to see which one would move and give it to Dipper. 

Bill's heart thumped in his chest like crazy, filling his ears with ringing like he was having some sort of reaction. _Fuck, fuck, fuck-_ he cursed in his brain. No, no, this wasn't supposed to happen, he wasn't supposed to react the way he did, _goddamn it,_ what was he supposed to do?

Wait, wait, what did Pine Tree say to him? Act the way he would usually act around others, right? 

"I....was going to pass him the salt. Hands off, _old man_ ," Bill snapped as he took the salt away from Mr. Pines's grip. 

"Here," he said, overly sweetly as he gave the salt to Dipper. Dipper took it with an open jaw, everyone around the table doing the same. The table was silent, only a cough coming from Mabel being the only sound. 

"What? Do cats have your tongues?" Bill chuckled, looking around the stunned table. 

Then Dipper's jaw clenched, and he look at Bill with the meanest glare. Bill smiled innocently at him, genuinely wondering what he did wrong. He was just being himself. What the hell did _he_ do? 

"Can you excuse us for a moment?" Dipper asked his parents as apologetic as he can. 

Without waiting for an answer, Dipper grabbed Bill's ear and dragged him away from the table, despite Bill's winces and complaints of how hard he was pinching his ear. 

"Ow, ow, _ow!"_ Bill whined as he was unceremoniously dragged from the kitchen. 

Before he knew it, he was pushed into a small room, the door being closed tight with a small click indicating that someone had locked it. Bill rubbed his ear, grimacing to himself as he looked around to see where he was. He was in a small bathroom, the walls sterile and everything with it. 

The person who put him here, of course, was a darkly glaring Pine Tree. Bill almost snorted at his choice of words. Really, imagine a pine tree _glaring_ at you. Now, that was a sight Bill-

"What the fuck was _that,_ Bill?!" Dipper gritted out, his words like acid. His voice, though it was quite loudly and made Bill himself wince, was quiet enough that it couldn't be heard through the thin walls of the bathroom. 

"What was what?" Bill asked in genuine surprise. Seriously, what did _he_ do?

"Why the hell did you call my dad, 'old man'?!" 

"Because he _is_ one, duh, Pine Tree," Bill said with a roll of his eyes. Wasn't Dipper the one who asked him to act like the way he would around others? Well, if he was being himself, he would have acted _exactly_ like that back there! So now he was the bad guy?

"Come on Pine Tree, it wasn't that bad," Bill soothed when his boyfriend stood there, back rigid and arms crossed as he kept scowling. He looked like an angered teddy bear. The thought made Bill snort, and made Dipper's scowl darken even more. 

"Wasn't that bad?" Dipper echoed, his words bitter. "Are you kidding me right now, Bill? Are you freaking kidding me? Do you have any idea how much my dad is going to _kill_ you right now? Do you?!"

"Okay, you've _got_ to calm down there, Pine Tree," Bill said slowly, putting his hands up to his chest like he was afraid that Dipper was going to pounce. Well, Dipper probably would have. 

"Calm down?! Bill, you just embarrassed me in front of my whole family!" Dipper snapped. Bill stepped forward cautiously. Dipper, thankfully, had his back to the door, meaning he couldn't escape from Bill if he wanted to unless he wanted to open the door and reveal a quarreling couple. 

"It wasn't that bad, I promise. And hey, you were the one who told me to be myself like with Mabel and your Grunkles, so-" Bill began. 

"I said to be- ugh!" Dipper groaned, putting both of his hands on his face in shame. He grounded his teeth together, seeming extremely agitated by the situation. "Bill, you don't understand! If you pull another stunt like that one more time, my dad is going to kick you out. He's going to literally _kick_ you out like he's done with Mabel's past boyfriends and he won't be sorry about it." To his surprise, Dipper's bottom lip began to tremble as he put his hands away from his face. 

Bill's mouth parted slightly in surprise. "Pine Tree, I-"

"I have an excuse for what you said back there, Bill," Dipper muttered, his voice awfully quiet and...and shaky? "I'll just say you liked making jokes like that and I forgot to mention that they didn't like that kind of...humor." Again, his voice was shaky. 

"Dipper-" Bill frowned. 

"Bill, can you be serious for once and not embarrass me like that again?" Dipper asked in an exasperated tone. He looked over at Bill with pleading eyes. "Don't. Please," he begged, his voice trembling. "They don't know we're dating and if they don't like you as my friend then they certainly won't like you as my boyfriend. So please. Don't."

Bill closed his mouth, taking a deep breath through his nose. His eyelids half closed, his shoulders drooping. "Right," Bill mumbled, hanging his head. He put his hands in his pockets, stuffing them in deep so Dipper didn't know he was clenching them. "Right. Sorry. I...I forgot you were embarrassed of me."

"Y- what?" Dipper asked in disbelief, eyebrows shot up high. 

"You're embarrassed of me," Bill repeated, lifting his head. He tilted his head, looking at Dipper with knitted brows and a frown. "Aren't cha, Pine Tree?"

"Wha-?" Dipper sputtered. 

"You never told your family about us because you never found the right time," Bill cut off, "and also because I, myself, was never up for the right time. I'm embarrassing and shameful to you in public. Isn't that right, my love?" 

"Bill, _babe_ -" Dipper said in exasperation. 

"You're always so introverted around me in public," Bill whispered. "You're embarrassed."

"Bill, I'm not, it's just-" Dipper sighed. 

"Just what? You don't want to kiss me in public? You don't want to tell anyone how much you love me like I always feel?" Bill demanded. 

Dipper rubbed his face, looking extremely concerned and tired by the situation. It took all of Bill's willpower not to smirk as the sharp pain continued in the middle of his palm. Just a little bit more and he'd be able to-

"You hate me," Bill stated, his voice quaking with emotion. "You don't love me. You hate me."

Dipper's brow knitted together in confusion. He reached out for Bill almost hesitantly. Bill almost broke into a grin. He could get Dipper's confusion. Bill wasn't an easy person to break, and he didn't cry. 

Well, until now. A tear trailed down the left side of his cheek as he sniffled. 

Dipper's eyes widened almost immediately, almost as wide as saucers. "Bill-" he breathed.

"You hate me, you hate me, _you hate me_ ," Bill whimpered, his voice low and shaky with the emotion he produced. He almost grimaced to himself as the stabbing sensation continued, but he forced himself to keep going. 

"Bill, please stop crying," Dipper sighed, shuffling his feet towards Bill. He put his hands on Bill's face, forcing the boy to look into his eyes. "Don't cry. Please don't cry," he begged. 

"W- why? Are you ashamed to have a boyfriend who cries too?" Bill asked shakily, laughing humorlessly to punctuate his words. 

"No, no, of course not," Dipper quickly said. "I just- I hate seeing you like this, Bill- I love you, and I-"

"No you don't," Bill clipped, shaking his head. But Dipper's hands stayed on his face, forcing Bill to look back at him. Dipper's eyes glistened with tears too, and Bill almost gulped back his own almost immediately. Instead, he marched on and said, "You don't love me. You don't even want to kiss me anymore."

"What? Bill, come on, stop it. You're scaring me," Dipper begged. 

"You hate me," Bill blubbered, curling his fingers around Dipper's wrists. They shook. "You- you don't even want to be in the same room with me anymore. You don't want to be my muse and- and my lover so you- you try to distance yourself away from me, and- and you'd never h- have to worry about kissing me, or- or-"

Dipper sighed, cutting him off with a kiss to the lips. 

Carefully, Bill dropped his arms from around Dipper's wrists and placed them on his hips, turning them around so Dipper's lower back pressed itself against the sink countertop. He smiled against the kiss, hands coming under Dipper's shirt and pushing Dipper back so the brunet was forced to hike himself up the counter. 

With a wet smack, Dipper unhooked himself from the kiss, hands on Bill's chest, running down the strong body there as he had done a thousand times. The boy laughed, looking down at Bill's clothed chest then back to Bill's eyes. The brunet's eyes were gleaming with desire. 

"You planned this, didn't you?" he asked huskily, his voice still hoarse from their breathless kiss. 

"Mm." Bill ran his hand through Dipper's lower back, pulling the boy's body closer to his almost possessively. He licked his lips, planting a sloppy kiss to where the shoulder and neck met. It made Dipper shiver in bliss, fingers clutching Bill's shirt. 

Bill pulled back with a smirk playing on his lips, showing his boyfriend his right palm. Straight in the center was a deep groove, red and deep from where his nails dug into. Dipper looked at it with parted lips, staring at it for a good five seconds before he turned his eyes to Bill. 

"There's a special place in hell for you," Dipper grumbled. Even with his threat, he grabbed Bill's collar and pulled him closer, tilting his chin upwards to equal their height. 

If Bill could purr, he would have done it right there and then. His hands abandoned Dipper's hips, traveling to the boy's thighs, feeling the fabricated skin and refusing to touch where Dipper was most vulnerable. At least, not yet. 

"And that special place is the throne," Bill spoke softly, his breath tickling Dipper's ear as he teased the boy by kneading his thighs and peppering him with kisses in where he was vulnerable. 

"B- _Bill_ -" Dipper whimpered, suddenly surrendering to Bill's touches. He let out a whine of pure bliss through his lips almost shyly, hands clutching Bill's collar like a lifeline. 

"Mm?" he mumbled, his voice muffled against Dipper's skin. 

This just amplified the brunet's lust, and the poor boy shivered, his body shaking. "P- _please-_ I- I don't care if- if my parents hear us- I- I just want you," he admitted quietly, his voice shaky and husky. He let out a breathy sigh, rattling his body from head to toe.

"Shh," Bill hushed, licking his lips as he plunged his head deeper, trying to distract his boyfriend from what he was doing down there. It worked, and Dipper gulped, his hands moving to the back of Bill's head to lose his fingers in his curls. Dipper pulled Bill's face down, much to Bill's pleasant surprise. 

They kissed fervently, eager to taste each other once more. Bill tilted his lover's chin, pulling apart for a brief moment to admire his lust. Slowly, he smiled as Dipper whined for him to come back. He did as begged, bringing his lips back to Dipper's.

Then he thrust his hips, causing Dipper to yelp in surprise.

Bill crashed his lips back against his to shut him up. "Quiet," Bill hissed, moving his nimble fingers to brush against Dipper's zipper. Slowly, Dipper whimpering and trembling ever so slightly beneath him, Bill pulled down the zipper, hooking two fingers on the waistband. 

He pulled down Dipper's pants, sliding it away from his thighs, then his knees, until eventually, it fell to the floor with the belt clinking in its wake. 

Bill could feel his lover's body buzzing with excitement beneath him, but he knew he was no better. He bit down on Dipper's bottom lip, doing so to make sure the boy didn't cry out when he'll pound into him so hard he'd see sta-

An agitated series of knocks on the door broke the spell between the two lusted partners. 

"Bro-Bro! Hurry up!" wailed Shooting Star as she kept pounding on the door. "I need to _pee!_ You've been in there so long that someone could have taken two dumps and still have enough time to write a haiku better than Apollo's!"

"Ignore her," rumbled Bill in a husky voice. He kissed Dipper's shoulder. "She'll go away if we're quiet enough." Dipper nodded eagerly. 

"I know you're in there too, Bill!" Shooting Star scolded. "I heard you guys arguing about movies or something! Jeez, take your bromance somewhere else! People need to pee too!"

Dipper lightly pushed Bill away, staring into his eyes with a concerned look. "She knows," he mumbled. "We have to stop before she calls my parents."

"Fine," Bill grumbled, removing his hands away from Dipper's knees. "But I'm finishing this later to-"

"Aha!" Shooting Star cried. A click stopped them both dead, frozen in the spot as the blood drained from their faces. 

The door to the bathroom swung open, revealing no other than Mabel Pines, who had a bent hairpin in hand in triumph. She grinned, eyes sparkling in pride for pick-locking skills. 

Then, realizing what was happening in front of her, her eyes flickered to them and her face fell to a look of shock. 

"M- Mabel!" Dipper squeaked, getting off the counter and picking up his jeans hurriedly. But his jeans kept slipping out his arms each time he tried to gather them, his words stammering and stuttering. "I- I can explain! Y- you didn't walk into anything haha, of course not! B- Bill's just a friend, I swear, he just- um- um-!"

Bill, on the other hand, stayed frozen, not knowing what to do with the situation. What was one to do if their boyfriend's twin sister walked in on them while they were about to do the deed? Now, that's what he called a cock blocker. Mabel Cockblocking Pines sounded really good on paper. Maybe he should-

Mabel, a shell-shocked look on her face, dropped her hairpin. "I- I- I-" she stammered. 

"Nothing was happening! Really! I swear! He's just a friend! He's-" Dipper assured her, seeming extremely panicked and horrified. He covered himself with his bundled up jeans, and it looked pathetic even to Bill. 

"I'm a friend with benefits, is what your brother is looking for," Bill drawled. Then he paused for effect.  "No, not really. Half. You see, my dear, your brother is my boyfriend of many, _many_ yea-"

"BILL!" Dipper shouted, turning his horrified gaze over to Bill. 

He shrugged in return, a goofy grin on his face. "What? She was going to find out anyway!" he argued. 

"But- she- she might- m- my parents-" Dipper stuttered, his mouth hanging wide.

Mabel looked between them, then her look of horror and shock, slowly, turned into a big wide grin that matched Bill's. "Oh my God!" she squealed, bouncing up and down. "I KNEW IT! YOU TWO ARE-!"

"Shhhh!" Dipper and Bill hissed rushing forward to try and cover her mouth. 

Mabel quickly put her own hands over her mouth, eyes wide. Then she lowered them a moment later, giggling to herself. "Right, sorry," she laughed. "I just- whoa. You two are...my lord, Dipper. You got yourself a _hunk._ I mean, I kind of knew when Dippin' Dots kept telling me you two were hanging out, but hey, I was expecting Dipper to just tell me right on instead of- you know, _this._ " She giggled, once more. 

Dipper's face was a bright shade of red, eyes reflecting his panic. His mouth opened and closed, trying to speak words to Mabel, but to no avail. Not a single word was uttered out of his mouth, other than the squeaks emitting from it. 

Bill, on the other hand, laughed joyfully and slapped Dipper on the back. He reached over, planting a big ol' kiss on his little Pine Tree's cheek. Dipper couldn't even push away. The poor kid was busy putting on his pants, his hands shaking and his shoulders stiff to the touch. 

"Listen, Shooting Star, you can't tell _anyone_ about-" Bill warned. 

"Mabel? Dipper? Bill? Is everything alright over there?" the twins' mother called out in concern.

The three of them froze on the spot. Then, Bill and Dipper's eyes turned to Mabel. "What? Why me?" she asked in panic, eyes large. 

"You started this!" they hissed. 

"I wasn't the one who couldn't keep it in their pants!" she argued. 

They merely stared at her. Then, with a sigh, Mabel shook her head. She straightened out her hair, turning around and swinging her arms by her side as she bounced on her heels like the energetic child she was. She put a grin on her face, perfect for her tone of voice. "We're fine, Mom!" Mabel chirped. 

"Okay, wonderful!" her mother said in relief. "But anyway, if you find the boys, can you tell them to sleep in Dipper's room together?"

Bill's jaw unhinged. Dipper froze. Mabel's grin came up ear to ear. 

"Oh, why's that, Mom?" Mabel asked in genuine curiosity. Her bouncing became more excited. 

"The guest rooms are taken by your Great Uncles and I don't want you and Bill sleeping in the same room together," her father spoke, almost in a scolding tone. "There will be no frickle-frackling in this house!"

Bill held back a snort and poor Dipper looked about ready to faint. Mabel, on the other hand, seemed more and more ecstatic as the time passed. "Oh," Mabel answered, her tone full of fake disappointment. "But uh- isn't there only one bed in Dipper's room? Don't you think they might get a little...close?" Her tone suggested that she was really hoping for that to happen. Dipper yelped. 

"Oh, they'll be fine," her mother assured her. "They've been best friends for years, as I've heard. They'll figure something out. And besides, they must have slept together at least once, right?"

"Riggggght," Mabel sang out, prolonging the word as she pivoted on her heel to look at the couple. 

There was a Cheshire cat-like smile on her face. "So," she began, her mischievous smile still plastered on her face. 

"Mabel, please don't-" Dipper squeaked. 

"Since you guys took so long, dinner finished and all the plates have been cleared," she continued, pointedly ignoring her brother. Dipper's mouth clamped shut. "It's like, nine PM and Dipper, you know how strict Mom gets about going to bed. You two should go to bed." And before Dipper or Bill could call her off, she bounced away, humming a distinct love song under her breath. 

"I- I- I-" Dipper stammered, eyes still big from the news he was thrown to. 

Bill turned around, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist and pulled him close, kissing him full on the lips. 

"Yeah, Dipper," Bill teased in a low voice. He lowered his head, his lips an inch away from Dipper's as his eyes held his lust. He leaned forward, his lips barely grazing Dipper's ear.  _"Let's go to bed,"_ he murmured.

So they did. They walked upstairs (or more like ran) and came into Dipper's room. Oh boy. Bill was living the dream already. 

Dipper, being the smart and calculative man he was, closed the door shut and locked it. 

Bill, not even taking a breath to look around Dipper's room, crashed against his boyfriend's one person bed, stretching on it like a cat. He yawned, propping his head up to look at Dipper and see what he was doing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw their two bags neatly piled in a corner. 

Dipper had his arms crossed in front of him, shoulders squared and his legs spread apart. He was glowering at Bill. 

"What now?" Bill groaned. Seriously, what did he do? He just got here!

Dipper sighed, shaking his head slightly. He brought his hand up to his face, massaging one side carefully before he answered. "Do you want to sleep on my bed?"

"What an awfully weird question even from you, Pine Tree!" Bill chirped. "Of course!"

The brunet stared at him for the briefest moments before shrugging. Silently, he walked into his closet, opening it with the hinges creaking in misuse. "Okay," Dipper said, "I'll just sleep on the floor."

"What?" Bill frowned. He sat up on his bed, the bed squeaking in protest at his sudden shift in weight. "Pine Tree, come on! We've slept together before! Both literally and in the dirty way! You can-"

"My parents might catch us cuddling, Bill," Dipper said with a shake of his head. 

"So? Wouldn't _that_  be an epic way of announcing that your best friend is your boyfriend?" Bill asked with a happy grin. 

"Bill, not after Mabel," Dipper sighed. He dragged an old air mattress out of his closet. Bill's smile dropped. "Look, I told you to lay low. You didn't listen to me. If they catch us, they'll-"

"-you'll catch a cold," Bill announced. 

Dipper stopped dragging the mattress, looking up at him with a weird look. 

"You'll catch a cold," Bill repeated. He tilted his head. "Isn't that a good enough excuse for you? 'Dipper, my boy, why art thou sleep with thou boy?!' your dad gasps. 'One of us might catch thou cold, thy father!' you respond. 'LOL okay!' answers your mother."

Dipper, for the first time since they came into his room, laughed. It caused Bill himself to laugh. 

"Bill, you're a dork," Dipper announced. 

"But it's a good reason, isn't it, Pine Tree?" Bill answered innocently, batting his eyelashes. 

Dipper huffed. "I mean, yeah, I guess, but- are you okay with that? My bed is tiny, dude, we'd be squished to-"

"Exactly! I'll keep you warm!" Bill exclaimed. "And hey, it's not like I'm doing this just to cuddle with you!"

The brunet snorted, rolling his eyes. He began to shove the air mattress back into the closet.

"Sort of," Bill whispered. 

"What?" Dipper frowned, looking up.

"What?" Bill frowned. 

"Wha-? Forget it," Dipper grunted, shaking his head. He shoved the whole thing back into his closet, closing it shut. He jiggled the door handle, making sure it wouldn't burst open in the middle of the night while they slept. When he was satisfied that it wouldn't, he yawned, walking over to where Bill was. 

"Atta boy!" Bill chirped, scooting to the wall and patting the bare spot next to him. 

"I'm not a dog," Dipper deadpanned. But otherwise, he plopped himself next to Bill, scooting himself closer to his boyfriend. 

Bill draped his arm over Dipper's stomach, pulling him close as he put a blanket over them. He kissed Dipper's shoulder, resting his forehead against it soon afterwards. He closed his eyes, his heart rate slowing down and calming down with his lover pressed against him. 

"Bill?" Dipper whispered. 

"Mm?" he answered drowsily.

"Shouldn't we change first?" he laughed. 

Bill shook his head against Dipper's shoulder, tickling the boy slightly. "Mm," he answered once more tiredly. "I'm too comfortable right now." To prove his point, he shifted, getting himself in a way more comfortable position with spooning Dipper.  

Or, 'dipping', as they liked their spooning to be called. 

Dipper laughed, body shaking with the force of it. "Bill," he complained. But his voice was light, teasing even. 

"Dipper," Bill mimicked. Dipper elbowed his face. 

"Okay, okay!" Bill laughed. He settled his chin back on Dipper's shoulder, breath tickling his lover's ear. "We'll help each other change in the morning."

"Wow," Dipper grumbled. "Lazy motherfucker."

"Aw, there's no need to be so grumpy, Little Dipper~"

"Call me that again and I'll elbow your face with a razor."

"Right. Heh." Bill kissed his cheek, reaching over and pulling down Dipper's lamp, casting them in darkness. And though the darkness frightened him a little (don't tell anyone that), he felt completely at home with Dipper in his arms. 

"Love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dipper murmured back. 

Bill nuzzled his neck, much to Dipper's whining. "Love you more," he said, his tone edged with challenge, like Dipper was going to say something more romantic. 

"Oh yeah? Well, I-" Dipper boasted.

Two knocks thumped against the door, causing both boys' heads to turn to it in question. "What now?" Bill growled.

Mabel cleared her throat. 

"Do you guys need anything? Drink? Condoms? Parents' approval and consent?"

Then before she could get a response, she ran away laughing, her laughter filling the empty hallways. Bill had a feeling her parents were used to that kind of events. 

He sighed, propping his chin against Dipper's shoulder. 

"I wanted to ask for a condom," he said solemnly.

Dipper suddenly sat up on the bed, much to Bill's confusion. He wondered what was wrong, sitting up with Dipper, frowning at his boyfriend. "Hey, what's wro-?"

Dipper backhand slapped him.

Bill's only thought as he rubbed his sore cheek was,  _that would hurt more with a ring._

"Hey what was that for?!" he screamed in fury. 

Dipper glowered at him, but he swore he saw his Pine Tree flinch at his tone. 

He smiled at Dipper. "But I like it," he drawled. "You should do that more often. Painful, but somehow very...erotic."

Dipper backhand slapped him again. 

"Woo! Again!" he cheered, clapping his hands. 

"Wha-?" Dipper facepalmed. "You know what? You know fucking what? Just- oh my God. Go to sleep."

* * *

Bill woke up that morning with idiotic birds chirping outside Dipper's window. 

He grumbled, his arms tightening around Dipper. He removed one for a brief moment to flip the bird at the birds. 

Almost as if the birds saw his offensive hand gesture, they chirped louder. A wood pecker even began to peck wood near the stupid window. Bill let out a quiet groan. 

His eyes cracked open, then he immediately began blinking to get the crusty sleep out of his them. Thankfully, his Pine Tree had a digital clock on his bedside and all Bill had to do was peak over a messy curly head to check the time. Four forty-five AM.

He grumbled, plopping his head back to the pillow. It was too damn early in the morning, even by his standards. While he was a morning bird, Dipper was not, and that pissed off his Pine Tree more than it should. But even then, he usually woke up at six. Goddamn it, now he can't go back to sleep. 

So with a grunt, Bill got up from the bed, stepping over his boyfriend carefully to make sure he didn't wake up. Though he promised he'd help Dipper get ready in the morning, he couldn't wait for him to get him. He changed out himself into a simple black shirt and pants, deciding to leave the socks on because he was well, as Dipper put it, a lazy motherfucker. 

As he flattened out his hair while he looked at his reflection in Dipper's body-sized mirror, his eyes flickered over to their pile of backpacks in the corner. His big yellow bag stood out like a sore thumb, and so did one of the pockets. 

His face heated up, his eyes flickering back over to his beloved. He was soundlessly asleep, sleeping like an angel. He smiled softly at the kind sight. 

Bill shook his head, dropping his hands away from his hair. He walked over to his backpack, crouching down to open it up. He felt the bulging pocket, running his thumb over the lump. He bit down on his lower lip, forcing his shaky hands to open the flap right up. When it popped open, he cringed, looking backwards to make sure Pine Tree didn't wake and wasn't currently peeking over his shoulder curiously.

Dipper was still asleep. 

He took a deep breath and looked back to his backpack. He then reached in, fishing for a particular thing in the deep groove of the pocket. 

And when he found the smooth metal, he took it out in between his forefinger and thumb. He inspected the golden circle. And yes, it was pure gold. It shone in the morning sun, and his engravement seemed clearer. He made sure the circumference of the ring fit his lover, waiting at night to make sure he was asleep until he measured to the very right size and- wow that sounded creepy. He snorted at the thought and peered at the ring. 

It was cheesy, he knew it was, to put 'My Pine Tree' in the inside of the ring, but he couldn't help himself. 

And he knew it was cheesier, he thought with a grimace as he fished out the partnering crumpled piece of paper, to write 'Marry me?' on an old scrap from a coffee shop when he was bored. 

 _Marry me._ Now those were two words he knew he could never physically say. 

With a growl of frustration, Bill stuffed them back into the deep pocket, both the ring and the paper. 

But then he opened another pocket and took out a similar ring, the only difference being its color. It was pure black, made out of cheaper metal than Pine Tree's. He spent all his money on Dipper's ring anyway. Huh. One was made out pure gold and one out of cheap metal. He shrugged. Doesn't matter.

Bill shoved the ring onto his hand, standing up from his squat on the floor. He couldn't help it. He tried so hard to wait but he couldn't. He just wanted to see that ring glinting and gleaming on Dipper's finger as fast as he can, and he was ending this tonight. 

So he ran downstairs, hoping, _praying_ that his lover's parents were awake. 

And he got his wish. Uh, kind of.

Around the table downstairs stood Mabel Pines, Stan Pines, Ford Pines, and Mr. and Mrs. Pines, all eating breakfast and laughing with each other. He puffed out his chest, slowing his steps on the stairs to sneak up on them to clear his throat and announce his proposal in the most epic way. 

He could see it now. Everyone would gasp, even Mabel, and he'd smile and say, "That's right! I, the great and amazing Bill Cipher, wants to marry the one and only Dipper Pines, the love of my life! If you allow it, then it shall happen! If not, then I wish to fight the father for his approval and prove how protective and absolutely right I am for your son!" Then he'd fight the grouchy father, and he'd win, and-

"Ah, Bill, good morning!" chirped the mother. 

No wait. Dipper's mother was strict. 

Why was she smiling like Mabel and holding out seven pancakes on a plate? 

Bill, not even realizing he was just standing there in front of the kitchen door, blinked. The table quieted down, everyone staring at him silently in question. The father, who was scowling the whole of dinner last night, was smiling like her wife, newspaper in hand. He looked more like his son and daughter now than he did last night, same goes for Mrs. Pines. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa- what was happening?

"Mrs. Pines, you- you're wearing my earrings! And- and you-" Bill stammered, pointing a finger shakily at Mr. Pines' tie. "-you're wearing my tie! Wha- but- but I thought the both of you hated my- my gifts, so I-"

Almost all at once, everyone began to laugh at him. 

"It's best if you sit down, Bill," Mrs. Pines soothed, placing the plate of seven drizzling pancakes on an empty chair. Almost as if he was commanded, Bill automatically did as told, sitting down and scooting his chair forward. He grabbed the fork and knife, ready to dig in, but not yet- because he had many, many questions. 

"Wh- but- you- all of you- were so strict and-" Bill began with large eyes. 

"Bill," Mabel interrupted, punching his arm almost playfully. Her eyes shone in a way that made Bill relax. "My parents are cool. Like, seriously. What strict parents would produce such cool children?" Mabel teased. 

This confused poor Bill further. "But- but- but-" he stuttered. 

"My boy, the reason why my wife and I acted so strict and cold to you the day before was to _test_ you," Mr. Pines guffawed. He put down his newspaper, his wife sitting back down and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "We did it to all of Mabel's boyfriends- and best friends, for that matter. So my son knew that we were pretending and he was forced to play along- which was why he didn't react to his parents suddenly acting cold. It was just procedure in the Pines household."

"So this whole time...you...you..." Bill said in a hushed tone, mildly horrified. 

"We lied to you in a way, yes," Mr. Pines sighed. Mrs. Pines put a comforting hand on his bicep and squeezed, giving her husband a reassuring smile. It made Bill's heart thump wildly, reminding him the reason why he was here. He was here to ensure that him and his lover could act the same, in love and bonded.

"And Dipper didn't tell me?" Bill groaned. His back slid against his seat, nimbly playing with his seven stacked pancakes. "We tell each other everything, even if it's small!"

"You really can't trust best friends often, can you?" Mr. Pines chuckled, taking up his newspaper. 

Bill grunted like a tired caveman, causing the whole table to burst out laughing. 

"And hey, fuck Dipper!" Mabel laughed. 

Even though Bill knew she meant it in a sense to kick him, he may or may not have taken it in another way. He was tired, and extremely drowsy from waking up so early, so his mind didn't catch up quick enough. 

So he ended up wailing, "I'M TRYING, SHOOTING STAR, _I'M TRYING!"_

The whole table became deadly silent, and all eyes came over to him. Forks and knives were put down to their representative plates, eyes burning into him. But was it him, or did their faces look...happy, and not like someone just announced they were trying actively to have sex with their son?

"So um..." Bill began uncomfortably, shifting in his seat. To be honest, he should really just spit it out to get it over with. "For the past few years, I'm actually more than your son's best friend. I'm his-"

"-boyfriend, we know," the whole table echoed. 

Man, that was the best way to admit things, right? Announce you're trying to fuck their son and find out they knew the whole time. 

He flinched. Then he shifted his gaze to Mabel, who smiled sheepishly and shrugged at him. "I couldn't keep it a secret for very long," she laughed nervously. 

"And good thing she told us," Ford sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. 

"It gave us enough time to make a shock collar specifically to shock you and only you," Stan grunted.

Bill almost yelped as Ford held up a small black collar enough to fit his neck up to demonstrate that they weren't kidding. He had a feeling that the old twins didn't even sleep and only stayed up making that collar just for him. Their prolonged yawns and deep eye-bags gave them away. 

"Put that away, you're going to scare him!" Mrs. Pines scolded. 

The old twins laughed, high-fiving each other for their good work into scaring the crap out of Bill Cipher. Which, Bill had to admit, was a good reason to celebrate. He was a hard person to scare, you know. Not until you show him a spider. Or the dark. Or put him on top of the Eiffel Tower. Or- yeah, he was fearless, no doubt about it. No questions. 

"So, you're okay? With me? And- and him? And-?" Bill stammered. 

"You kidding? Hell yeah!" the whole table whooped. 

"We thought our boy was going to die alone!" Mrs. Pines laughed.

"And we thought our great nephew would end up becoming withered like Ford here!" Stan chuckled, earning a rough punch to the shoulder from his brother. 

Mabel whooped. "And I always thought my brother had no game with girls! Well, I mean I was right, but it also meant he wasn't going to die alone, so it's a win-win situation!"

"Well, thank goodness then," Bill laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He licked his dry lips, drooping his head to the pancakes so he couldn't meet their eyes. And before he could say, _there's more and I need all of your guys' consent,_ someone beat him to it.

"Bill," Mrs. Pines suddenly gasped. Bill looked up in surprise.

"What is that on your finger?" Mr. Pines demanded, pointing at his new ring. 

Bill looked down at it, eyes wide. He laughed nervously, looking up at the wide-eyed faces of the Pines family. There were mixtures of shock, surprise, and just utter..frozen stares as he held up his ringed hand. "I'm not engaged to anyone else, I swear. In fact..."

He cleared his throat, a blush creeping up his neck. But ha, not today, uncontrollable feelings! Not today!

"I wanted to know if you guys were alright if I-" Bill said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"Morning, you guys," called out a sleepy voice.

Bill's back became rigid, and his blood ran colder than his heart. 

Quickly, all heads turned to the doorway, where a certain brown-haired young man stood, leaning against the door frame sleepily. Bill's heart fluttered in his chest, seeing his boyfriend and hopefully soon-to-be-fiance stand there. 

Ugh, fuck. Feelings.

On closer appearance, with Bill's eyes squinting slightly at his Pine Tree, his heart stopped dead in his own chest.

There was a sleepy smile on his face, an adorable feature Bill would never get tired of seeing. His eyes wrinkled at the sides from the lack of sleep, and Bill wanted to kiss his forehead and force him back to bed if it was the last thing he did. Dipper's hair was a mess, as always, but it stuck in ten more directions than last time. The effects of waking up extremely early, he supposed. 

But then something gleamed and shone on Dipper's left hand- his ring. _His proposal ring._

Crumpled in his right hand was the unmistakable crinkled paper of the two words Bill had written down for Dipper to see when the time was right, and right now was definitely not the right time. In his own fist, Dipper was clutching it shakily but firmly, like he wanted to hold onto it for life.

And his eyes. Oh, his eyes. They were tired, so _so_ tired. But even with the stupid exhaustion that Dipper only sported when he pulled all-nighters, there was an evident trace in them. 

Happiness. Complete and blissful joy. It was like a weight was lifted off of his Pine Tree's shoulders as his eyes flickered around the table, his lips forming into a wider smile of glee. Bill's stomach fluttered with the metaphorical butterflies he oh so hated, but loved at the moment. Something made his Pine Tree extremely happy, and he never wanted to be so right than he wanted to be right at the moment. 

"Well, I guess I have to introduce you to someone again, huh?" Dipper chuckled, waving his hand that clutched the paper in Bill's direction. Everyone stayed quiet, each and every person already have seen the ring sitting firmly on his left ring finger.  

"Mom, Dad, meet Bill Cipher, my fiancé. Bill, meet your in-laws."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really make another story with the same "Meet the family" concept but with Bill being known as the guy who started Weirdmageddon lol. 
> 
> "Panda God, why are you so obsessed with rings?!" you ask me with a weird look. Well, lovely person who's too snoopy with me *squints eyes* I happen to really like rings. Promise rings, friendship rings, proposal rings- the way to a panda's heart is with a ring, even a plastic one from those cheap supermarket dispensers. I think this is the third time I wrote in the concept of rings into a story oml. Yeah, this definitely isn't healthy. 
> 
> Also, I was tempted to end it with everyone celebrating and with, "And then they fucked for the next two days." but you know.


	4. 25 Months, 15 Weeks, and 11 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from the-staged-inadequacy on Tumblr: "I hate to be the obvious headcanon-er but how great would it be if the AU where person A "dies" and person B quietly and brokenly soldiers on. And when person A comes back person B barely reacts at all until someone else speaks directly to person A. That's when person B turns white and their hands shake as the clench and person B goes "you can see him to?" In a voice that makes them sound like a scared child. And person A who had been confused and hurt by their indifference; well their heart flat out breaks. And before either of them know it person B is cradled in A's arms and they're both shaking."

Bill had been dating Dipper Pines for two and a half years in a human vessel. So romantic, isn't it, to fall madly in love with someone who made sure of your demise and to love them so much that you spent half a year constructing a human body to be with them? Yes, who was he kidding, of course it was romantic! But...it clearly was starting to seem like an idiotic idea now that he was close to death. 

Bill let out a strangled frustrated scream, hitting the side of the stupid prison with the side of his fist. It didn't even budge. Shaking his head, Bill hit it again, body shaking with grief. _Pine Tree..._

"You sure you don't want me to go with the both of you?" Dipper had asked that day. He was packing up a lunch for both his sister and his lover, brown eyes dark with concern and worry. He looked much like a worried, married stay-at-home person than a nineteen year old that it made Bill chuckle to himself. 

"We'll be fine, Bro-Bro!" Mabel had chirped, assuring her brother as she reached over and took her packed lunch, stuffing it into the corner of her backpack. Bill, quietly, did the same, taking his zip-lock bag filled with two cut triangles (heh) and stuffed it into his. 

"Are- are you triple sure? I mean, I trust you guys but we've never explored that part of town without the three of us together so-" Dipper stammered. Bill, being the wonderful and charismatic boyfriend he was, grinned and leaned over, planting a sloppy kiss on his lover's cheek. Heat blossomed on Dipper's face quite nicely. 

"We'll be _fine,_ Pine Tree," Bill had told him that morning, hiking his backpack up his shoulder while his partner in crime tested out her grappling hook, accidentally shooting it forwards to knock down Stan Pines's favourite vase. "I didn't get myself a human vessel just to die alongside your pinhead of a sister."

"Hey!" Mabel whined, stomping her foot childishly. 

And they all laughed, three of them knowing that the other was just joking. That it was a complete and utter joke and it would stay that way. Bill was wishing that it were true at the moment. 

Letting out a strangled cry, Bill hiked himself up against his prison and hit the side of it with a strong kick of his feet. It did not move. It did not respond to his screams of "Let me out!" and "I have to go home!". His prison did not grant him mercy. 

He remembered going to the site where Mabel Pines and Bill Cipher was called to. Dipper, sadly and unfortunately, couldn't make it to this one adventure, having paranormal problems elsewhere. Dipper had asked them, _begged_ them for him to go and he'd just banish the ghost bothering the north side of Oregon next time, but they both refused. They told him that the both of them would come back in one piece and they'd watch V for Vendetta together, like always. Bill told him specifically that he'd come home, if it were the last thing he did. And he wasn't going to give up on that sole promise.

Gods, he remembered everything that came up to this moment. He remembered it like it was yesterday. Perhaps it _was_ yesterday. He couldn't tell with time in here anymore. 

He remembered giving Pine Tree a kiss on the lips, holding him close to his body as a goodbye kiss, teasing that "It might be their last one." and giving him another affectionate kiss for the hell of it. He remembered driving out to the forest with Mabel as their driver, climbing out of their truck with backpacks swung over their shoulders. They explored and investigated the prints in the mud, leading them to Bill's old statue. 

But the statue was gone, replaced by deep scuff marks that made Mabel step back in horror. 

"Bill, is that what I think it is?" she had whispered. Her grappling hook shook in her hand, ready to be used in case something snuck up on them to ambush. In turn, Bill had a hunting knife safely tucked in his back pocket. Not the type of weapon he'd use, but Pine Tree was the one who gave it to him. Why would he ever say no?

So Bill did not reply to the shooting star, confidently walking over to the spot where his statue was stolen, squatting and taking a swab of dirt on his fingertips. He had heard Mabel squeak in surprise, begging him to step back and turn around. He did not why.

He did not realize why until he found a small ledge in the corner. And being the stupid person he was, he reached over and touched the damn thing. He did not know why Mabel was so distressed until he realized it was a dimensional rift. 

Then Bill was sucked into some sort of black void, a small purple barrier keeping him in the stupid bubble, barely giving him room to move around. He had screamed, throwing things against the barrier like a toddler. He had thrown smoke bombs, knives, toys, his lunch, _everything_ against it. But soon his backpack was nothing but a pouch for air and he threw it to the ground. 

Of course, he kept his common sense. He had kept his phone, leaving it deep inside his pocket. It was no use throwing it against the wall. Instead he kept checking it, looking for a signal and calling the only two contacts saved to the damn thing. But when the battery dropped dangerously low, he turned it off with a growl, coming back to pounding against the bubble with all his might.

All the while, his thoughts merged together, racing past his angered mind. 

Mabel, who would have been traumatized at the thought of seeing Bill just disappear into thin air. Bill knew her well enough that she would have stayed there until daylight, wondering when he was going back. He was a demon, after all, and demons could not be contained for so long. 

He wondered for a brief moment if she had already given up on him and left, knowing that he would soon return with a sadistic grin on his face as he marched into the Mystery Shack late into the night. The thought made him queasy, but if he were Mabel, he was sure that he would do the same. A trillion year old demon like him was not to be worried about!

Then he also thought about the things he was supposed to do after this. Watching a movie with the twins, having lunch with the whole family the next day, visiting their sick Grunkle Stan in the hospital- oh God, he hoped they could hold on for a few hours. He had so much to do! 

Blinking away angry tears, Bill pounded on the side of the stupid bubble once more. He let out a scream, raw and angry. He sounded like a caged animal, and he sure was one if he didn't get out soon. 

 _Pine Tree_. 

He mostly thought of his lover. 

His smile, his laugh, his eyes, just _him._ It kept him sane, giving him motivation to try and get _out._ Because if he didn't, he would no longer be able to see his Pine Tree's smile. He would not be able to hear his laugh in the morning, or see the happiness in his eyes as Bill surprised him. Dipper would no longer be his, if he did not get out. 

God, Bill loved him. More than anything in the world.

The gold ring he kept safely tucked in his pocket was proof of that. 

He had handcrafted it for days! Of course, he almost gave up half way through, but just _dreaming_ about Dipper's smile and stunned silence made him keep going. It was a simple gold band, no strings attached. But it had magical properties. As long as Bill loved him, the ring would keep Dipper safe from harm. It would produce a realistic holograph of Bill in front of Dipper if the boy were to ever miss him, the holograph mingling with the brunet as if he was really there. 

Unfortunately, the vision was still under prototype. The Bill hologram could not respond to Dipper still, only follow him and say simple things like "sure, whatever makes you happy" or "no, it's too dangerous" or "I love you". Things the real Bill would say on a daily basis. But the hologram also had bugs. It could prolong its stay for way too long, others could not see it, it would glitch, it-

Bill let out a mirthless laugh, halfheartedly pounding on the bubble with two sore fists. 

He was getting ahead of himself. Hell, he already had everything planned out! A candlelit dinner for just the two of them, dancing under the stars while Bill sang to him, leading him out of the diner to let them walk through a beautiful garden, arranging the fireflies to spell out his question. Then Dipper would be stunned into silence, he'd look at Bill with that twinkle in his eyes, demanding him if he was serious, then Bill would laugh and get down on one knee. Oh, he had everything ready. 

The only thing he needed was _when._ Next week? Next month? Tomorrow? Eh, he'll figure it out. 

Now all he needed to do was _get out!_

Gritting his teeth, Bill pounded the side again, hands red and raw from his constant hitting. He just wanted to get out. He just wanted to go home and be with Dipper. He just wanted to be happy with his lover. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, the prison heard his wish. 

In the little purple barrier, at the very bottom, was a tear. Like a crack on a sidewalk. 

It was glowing a blinding white, causing Bill to squint. Small, he had to admit, but small things can lead to big things. 

So he rested both his feet on it, bracing himself against the other side of the barrier. He let out a grunt, pushing with all his might. His legs screamed out in protest, heavy like it was injected with lead. But the thought of going home, to go home back in time for another day with Dipper, caused him to grit his teeth and push harder. 

There was a shrill noise, like a screechier version of paper ripping off walls. His hairs stood on end, a cool blast of air hitting his skin. He breathed in the scent of a familiar forest, causing him to become eager and excited. He kept pushing, but it was not enough. 

So he reared back his feet, letting out a yell as both feet slammed into the crack with every muscle straining with the effort.

And like glass shattering, his prison fell around him. It disappeared, letting him free like a bird out of a small suffocating cage. 

After all, Bill Cipher could not be imprisoned for so long. 

He fell to his knees in exhaustion, hands out in front of him to keep steady. Damp grass was clutched in between his fingers, lacing in between each knuckle like a comforting blanket. If he wasn't so tired, he would have cried in relief. 

The stars above him twinkled like a crown, crickets playing their little songs around him. On a usual day, he would have wrinkled his nose and went straight home, not caring for the little beautiful things this dimension had shown him. But today was not a usual day.

Bill breathed in, tilting his head up to the sky. He let out his breath through his nose, slowly and gladly. He was no longer forced to breathe in the tight unusual air inside the prison and could now breathe in fresh air. He was free and he was just in time for their movie, judging from the night sky. 

He squinted at the full moon. He could have sworn it was just...

A snap of a twig made him come back to reality. Bill looked around for the source of the noise, almost feeling relief flood into his system. Mabel was back to greet him, probably with a grappling hook in hand as she scolded him for being gone for hours. 

But she was not there, the source of the snapping being a sniffling deer, who ran off after it saw him. 

Bill huffed, shakily getting up to his feet. He dusted off his knees and legs, then his shoulders and chest. He was a mess for being gone for a few hours. He was _so_ going to strangle the girl for leaving him and having no faith! He sure as hell would have waited for her if she was only gone for a couple hours, and here she was, leaving him! Stupid meat sacks. You could never trust them.

He patted down his pockets, feeling for his phone and ring. He found his phone still nestled deep within the right pocket, and he almost took it out. But not yet, as he needed to check on something first. Bill checked his left pocket. Nothing.

His blood ran cold. He put his hand into the pocket, desperately fishing for the gold band. But there was nothing but scratchy denim and he almost let out a scream of frustration. 

His ring was gone and he needed to make a new one all over again. 

Shaking his head, Bill took out his phone. It lit up with a glowing screen. 

He checked the time first. Exactly 11:30 PM.

He frowned. So not a few hours, but close. Eleven hours. Whatever. 

He checked his notifications next. 476 missed calls and 99+ text messages. Many from Mabel, from Dipper, and from other numbers he couldn't recognize. Wow, they were _that_ worried about him? To be fair, he would have gone ballistic if Dipper was to be gone for that long. 

So he pressed the first number he found and pressed it to his ear. He couldn't care less who he called, just cared about going back to the Mystery Shack to hang out with his two favorite meat sacks. And besides, he didn't necessarily have to call Dipper if he was going to see him later anyway. Bill almost cringed. 

Perhaps it was best if he talked to Dipper in person, if it was true that he was gone for this long. He would much rather calm down Dipper by surprising him with a kiss than hear his boyfriend scream at him through the phone. Yeah, that was a better idea. 

His phone rang. Once, then twice. Then three times. He took a shallow breath. He held it. 

Then it clicked and he was connected to the person on the other side. Bill almost burst out into his story, relieved that someone had contacted him on the first try. 

"You have ten seconds to tell me who _the fuck you are_ and why you have my friend's phone," the girl snarled through the other end of the phone. 

If he didn't know her for so long, Bill would have never known that this was Mabel Pines. Mabel didn't swear, and she certainly didn't be so...malicious towards others like this, even at the worst times. What happened?

"Mabel? Mabel Pines?" Bill croaked out. He didn't know why he was acting so distant and didn't just shout, "You fucker, just get over here and get me!"

She laughed humorlessly through the other end. It made Bill uneasy, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Mabel was not a scary girl, everyone knew that. But with her voice sounding so angered and...and _frustrated,_ Bill had to take a subconscious step backwards. The last time she was this mad was when Dipper was bullied for taking a "nerd" class. Let's just say that Bill wasn't the only one who sweetly asked Ford Pines for a torture device for an "experiment".

"Oh boy, you almost got me for a second there," Mabel said sarcastically. "Now, tell me who you are and I won't have to come over there and skin you alive and make you choke on your own vomit." At her words, Bill almost lit up. If she found where he was, there was a guarantee she'd find him and she'd hug the life out of him and...skin him. He winced. He had forgotten that the Pines twins had faced a shapeshifter before and there was no doubt she'd think about that when she catches him here. 

"Bill. Bill Cipher!" Bill exclaimed, trying to leave the frustration out of his voice. "Mabel, it's me! I'm serious!"

The girl sighed heavily. Before she could hang up on him, Bill yelped, "No, wait! Let me prove it to you!"

Mabel was quiet on the other end. But thankfully, there was no click, signifying her end call. Bill's shoulders slumped in relief. Mabel, even at her worst, was a forgiving girl. He hated that about her long ago, but he was thankful for it now. She was forgiving, even to the ones who didn't deserve it. 

"Ask me any question and I'll answer it," Bill breathed. "Anything personal." 

"You have to tell me one for yourself and answer it. You're just baiting me," Mabel chirped. She sounded more like herself, and Bill was becoming more and more relaxed. But, her words struck him. 

What kind of statement can he make that would prove to her that he was the real one? What, what, _what?_

"What kind of question would I even-" Bill said, bewildered. 

"Your problem, not mine, buddy," Mabel hummed. "Six seconds."

And as if a light went off above him, Bill got it. He almost grimaced when he rolled it around his head. He didn't have much time to think of another good one, but saying this might uh...embarrass him. Bill shook his head. He didn't get embarrassed! 

"That's it, this is a waste of time," Mabel snapped. There was shuffling on the other end. "Sorry, but I'm hanging u-"

"No, wait- please!" Bill cried. The hysteria in his voice must have stopped Mabel dead. Heart pounding in his chest, he took a deep breath and answered. "When you were twelve, I almost took over the world. Of course, that didn't happen but-"

"Everyone could have known that. It's world wide news, smartass," Mabel answered dryly. 

"I was going to propose to your brother and you agreed to help me when I ever needed it!" Bill blurted. He held his breath and waited for her response. She was awfully quiet, tethering between if anyone could have known that or just between the both of them. 

"Dipper sings Disco Girl in the shower and we would always mock him about it behind his back! He snorts when he laughs sometimes! Dipper hates it when I call him 'babe' but you told me he- he liked it! You told me he gets extremely flustered when I take off my shirt so I spent exactly two weeks doing it around the Shack to impress him! The both of you think I'm annoying and it's true! The both of you also think I'm not as gorgeous as Deep Chris and my statistics determine _that's a lie!"_ Bill had to pause to catch his breath. Okay fine, he was become hysterical about this but he had his reasons!

And when he was speaking again, his voice was nothing but a hushed whisper. 

"I woke up in the middle of the night asking you for advice because I was going crazy and I didn't know what was happening," Bill whispered, cheeks warming. He swallowed. "You- you told me I loved him and I didn't believe you until I walked downstairs and saw him looking so...so perfect. You were the reason why I told him I loved him that day and I still do and I never got to thank you."

There was a long pause through the phone. He held his breath, afraid that if he spoke again, Mabel would hang up. Did he go too far? Shit, he probably did! Great, now she thinks he's some obsessed stalker and-

Mabel laughed. A joyful, relieved laugh. "Damn. You sold me the moment you started talking about Dipper for the third time in a row. No imposter can copy Bill's love for my idiot nerdy brother," she said. Then she sighed, but this time, out of pure relief. " _It's you_. I can't believe it's you." Her voice trembled with emotion, struck by the sudden realization that she was indeed talking to Bill.

Bill, despite her not seeing him, inclined his head in confusion. He wrinkled his nose, head dropping down to the ground to look at the grass flying about due to the wind. "Well, yes," Bill frowned. "I was gone for eleven hours and suddenly you think any idiot can take my phone?" He chuckled lightly. 

Again, Mabel was quiet. But he had a feeling about why she was silent and his stomach dropped. 

"I..." Bill began, a lump forming in his throat. He blinked. "I wasn't gone for eleven hours. Wasn't I?"

"No," Mabel breathed. "You were gone for two years, Bill."

Two years. He blinked again, slowly. 

Two fucking years. 

_He was gone for two fucking years._

"I-" Bill started. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to sound optimistic, as always. "That can't be right. I- I couldn't have been gone for that long, can I? It felt like two hours." He sounded demanding, crazed even. But he didn't care. He just wanted answers. 

And he wanted to see Dipper, as soon as possible.

"Look, I'm not the only one confused right now, Bill," Mabel told him. There was more shuffling, and a door smacking closed. She was coming for him. "I have to go. I'll see you later, but hold on."

Then she was gone.

Bill looked down at his phone with a wrinkled nose. He didn't even tell her where he was.

But he had a feeling she knew exactly where he was. 

Shaking his head, Bill walked over to a giant mossy boulder. He sat down heavily on the grass, leaning his back against the boulder itself with a grunt. Phone still clutched tightly in his hand, Bill looked up, eyes scanning the forest. 

There beside him stood the empty spot that took him. It didn't look threatening, even from this close. He wondered if he should go back over there to inspect. 

No. No, he won't. He might as well be dead if he came back over there. He could get sucked back in, for even longer probably. Two years was way too much already and he owed his friends -and his lover- an explanation. 

To pass the time, Bill unlocked his phone, scrolling through his call log. There were so many missed calls from Mabel, including many voice mails. When he opened them, he was bombarded with a variety of sobbing mixed in with 'I'm sorry' or 'it's all my fault' and a long heartfelt call from her, telling him that it was Christmas or Halloween and she just wanted to say hello. She was either broken or put together, and there was no in between. The one that made his heart ache the most was one on her birthday last year, when she simply called him and hummed happy birthday. 

She ended with saying, "I'll say you said happy birthday to Dipper too! He'll finally smile at that for sure! I wish you were with us though, but I know you wouldn't want us to be sad on our own birthday. I'll...I'll see you in another life, right?" Then she ended the call.

But dated two days after that, she made a call again. Bill expected nothing more than her other calls, but this one made him bite down on his tongue so badly that it began to bleed. 

She was sobbing. Full on sobbing in the call, as soon as it had started. "D- Dipper told me to stop calling you when he found out today," Mabel whimpered. "He said there's no use in calling someone dead as a comfort because it would give us false hopes. He- he told me you were dead and gone and I had to face that and- and-" She let out another sob. "Bill, I'm so sorry. What's the point in this, anyway? You're dead." Her last two words cut deep like a knife, and then she hung up. 

True to her word, Dipper didn't call him after the first day. No voice mails, no nothing.

But there were also voice mails from numbers he did not recognize. Opening them, he realized it was from different people he knew, but did not know enough. Toby Determined, Wendy Corduroy, Stanley and Stanford Pines, the baby rat child named Zeus (at least he thought that his name was Zeus), even Gideon Gleeful! 

Some were just a simple "just checking to see if you're okay", some were filled with sobs like poor Mabel, and some were just silence before a click signified their end. 

He didn't feel at all bad for the ones who mourned him. They were humans, it was wired to them to feel empathy for others, even one who they fought against a long time ago. So what if they thought he was dead? Well, at least he could give them a surprise and prove that all their stupid lectures about him at his own funeral was nothing but a complete waste of time! Uh, that sounded kind of better in his head, actually. 

And he knew that it was a waste of time in itself to keep scrolling through these voice mails, hoping for something. He didn't know what he was looking for, but he kept going. 

And when he found it, his heart stopped beating in his chest. 

One voice mail. That was it. Four days after Bill had "died". This was probably when his death still wasn't confirmed, and Dipper was holding onto that last thread of hope that Bill would come back, that Bill was still here and....and...

Swallowing up his pride, Bill opened it. He pressed the phone close to his ear, even though it was on speaker phone. He didn't want to miss any word, or any strangled sob. While it hurt him to hear his lover cry, might as well a full-on sob fest, he had to hear it. Just so he knew how much Dipper needed comforting. 

He didn't even know the voice mail was on for a full ten seconds. 

There was no noise, no background sobbing, no garbled words of "please come back" or "I should have came with you". There wasn't anything and Bill almost pulled his ear back to end the voice mail. 

But when Dipper's voice spoke, he almost jumped out of his seat. 

"I love you," Dipper whimpered. "You know that, don't you? I love you so much." Then he ended the call just like that, leaving Bill to take his phone out in front of him in stunned silence. 

The little red dot on Dipper's name told Bill that his lover had left something else. He opened up his messages and felt the breath being sucked out of him.

So, so many messages. It started exactly one hour after Bill had left with Mabel. They were innocent "are you okay?" kind of messages, oblivious to the fact that Bill was gone. And as it went on, Bill could feel every single beat of his heart feel more and more alive and dead at the same goddamn time. 

_'Mabel told me what happened when she got home. Are you okay? Please stop playing games with me. Where are you, I'll come and get you.'_

_'Bill, I'm getting worried. Please respond to me ASAP.'_

_'I just want to know if you're okay.'_

_'It's been eighteen hours, Bill. I don't want to call you in case I might attract something to you but that sure as hell won't stop me from texting. Where are you???'_

_'Bill. I haven't slept in twenty eight hours. Please. Just one single message and I'll go to sleep. I know how protective you get when I don't sleep.'_

_'It's been three days. Three. Days. We held your funeral today and I couldn't even attend because I know you're still there. You're a stupid demon, you can't fucking die. Now stop playing games and get over here.'_

_'I'm so sorry.'_

His messages chilled Bill to the bone. If he had known, if he could have just responded...

_'This. Is. Useless.'_

_'Happy anniversary I guess. Are you happy now, you fucker?'_

_'It's been a month, Bill. A month. Just stop. Please.'_

_'How come I'm still here and you're not? Is my life really worth it?'_

_'I'm worthless. I couldn't even find your body today. I'm sore and I want to cry but I can't. I can't even think without thinking about you anymore. I'm not worth it.'_

_'I love you. I always had. Please come home.'_

Dipper's words were making Bill shake. He could feel Dipper's frustration through the screen and he made a mental note to hug the fuck out of his lover the moment he saw him. God, what had he done?

And suddenly, scrolling through the texts, with all the same kind of subject of "Why am I still doing this?", Bill was looking at texts with a whole new setting. 

_'Glad you liked it! :) I have to go to work, but we're watching a movie again tonight, right? You can pick this time!'_

What.

_'Bill, did you hear?! Ducktective is getting a rerun this summer, a week before Mabel and I's birthday! Ahhh! You better watch it with us, you butt! <333'_

_'Someone asked if I was married, ha ha. I told them maybe. So I was wondering when the hell you're going to get us married together, jeez. You're slow at this, babe. :0'_

_'You go ahead and go to work today. I'll be fine. I'll cook your favorite tonight xoxo'_

_'Love ya. Gotta go to work~'_

And on and on and o-

_'Miss you lots, even if you were just gone for two days. That's the longest you've been gone for lol. But when you come back, I'll make us some tea and you can tell me what happened at work <3'_

The last one was dated yesterday. 

His blood ran cold. For a whole year Dipper has been having one-sided conversations with Bill, acting like nothing bad had happened to his boyfriend. Dipper acted like Bill wasn't dead, but still alive with him. 

Bill didn't know how to feel.

Thankfully, a car pulled up a moment later, pulling him out of his dazed state. He squinted, thanks to the headlights. The car was the same one he used to get here, but it was more grimy and dirty, like it hasn't been washed since. 

Then out came a brunette, eyes wide and hair a mess. She looked, well...the same. The same old Shooting Star with the same old bounce in her step as she walked towards him. But her bouncing was more subdued, a little less lighter than usual. She looked like she just threw on her sweater to get here, her flats looking thrown on and not even tied. It was a miracle that she even managed fifteen steps towards him without falling flat on her face. 

Bill couldn't even utter out a word in greeting before she spoke, sharp and snapping. 

"When you first said I love you to my brother-" Mabel snapped. Bill almost snorted- of course the question would be about Dipper. "-how did I react?"

Bill gave her a sad smile. "You made us both sweaters to celebrate the occasion and made a scrapbook for your biggest...what was it? TOP, or some other combination of letters?" 

Mabel blankly stared at him. 

Bill huffed. "You discreetly handed me a condom and whispered, 'dunk it, Billy' right afterwards."

"Oh my God, I was drunk!" She stomped her foot and huffed. But she was smiling at him. 

* * *

Mabel hummed to the song on the radio as she drove them back to the Mystery Shack, a radiant smile on her face. Her smile was contagious and Bill soon found himself a victim to it, smiling fondly to himself as he looked out the window of her car. 

"You should have been here last October, Bill!" Mabel exclaimed, changing the radio station when her song ended. She would hum along to the song then tell him a story, and so on and so forth. They've been at this for fifteen minutes now, and they were only half way to the Shack. 

"Dipper and I joined the rodeo show and I won! Dude, you should have seen me do the back flip not once, but _twice_ on that stupid cow!" she whooped. 

Bill chuckled to her enthusiasm. That was all his responses to her so far. A chuckle, a snort, a laugh, a grunt, and so on. Mabel didn't seem to mind.

"Then- then after the show and we won a trophy, Dipper brought us to Greasy's Diner. I never saw him look so happy after- after you know," Mabel sighed. But like as always, she continued, as if his "death" was never mentioned.

"Anyway, Dipper and I-" she started halfheartedly.

"How is he?" Bill asked. Not demanding, but not kindly either. He was getting a little impatient here. No news about Dipper's well-being in the past fifteen minutes and he was going crazy. He wanted to know, _needed_ to know, if Dipper was alright. And with everything happening, he was ninety-nine percent sure that Dipper wasn't. 

"Hmm- huh? Dipper?" Mabel asked distractedly. She turned them around a corner.

"Yes," Bill snipped. "How is he?" he repeated. 

"Oh, he's um..." Mabel said happily. Her voice became more and more depressed. Bill's heart thumped wildly in his chest. What happened? Did Dipper go into a depressed state? Is he alright? Is he-?

"He's doing well!" Mabel exclaimed. "He bought himself a new apartment, he got himself a dog, then he-"

"So he doesn't want to stay at the Shack anymore because it reminds him of me?" Bill guessed with -he had to admit- a bitter tone. 

"No," Mabel said simply. She paused. "He's actually...really happy, Bill." Her last three words sounded awfully quiet and saddened, even though her words suggested that she had to be happy as well.

Bill snorted. "Yeah, sure. Who the hell would be happy after their boyfriend leaves for-" 

"-two years?" Mabel guessed. "No one, as far as I know. But Bill, you have to listen to me. Don't ask questions yet, then you can after I tell you." 

To her words, Bill stayed quiet. Taking that as her cue, she leaned over and turned off the radio, casting them into silence. Then she spoke. 

"The first few months were really hard on him, Bill," Mabel whispered. "He wouldn't come out of his room, he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't even _sleep_ because he said you might come back and you'd need him." Bill's heart wrenched.

"Then all of a sudden, he buys an apartment without telling us and moves out. We thought it was because the Shack reminded him of you, we really did. But I talked to him and he seemed, well...goddamn happy, actually. I don't know why he's starting to act like he didn't just witness his boyfriend leave him for the last time but, well..." Mabel shrugged. 

Bill waited another moment for her to continue, in case she was going to tell him something. But she didn't, and Bill spoke. "So does he talk about me? At all?" A selfish question, he knew, but he just had to know or else he was going to scream. 

"No." Mabel looked like she wanted to hang her head in shame. "He doesn't talk about much of anyone anymore. The only people he talks to are me and...well, just me. But even then I can't get through to him." Then she laughed, a mirthless one that made Bill wince in pain.

"I blamed you for a very long time," Mabel told him. "I blamed you for everything. And I still kind of do, Bill."

Again, Bill cringed. He opened his mouth to say sorry, but Mable beat him to it. She glanced at him for the briefest of moments, a dark sparkle in her eyes. "Set things the way they were and bring Dipper back, and then maybe I'll forgive you."

Bill opened his mouth to speak. Then he shut it again. Then he opened it. Then shut it. He was like a gaping fish, wanting nothing more than water. But in his case, he wanted nothing more than to see his Pine Tree. 

"Bring me to his apartment," Bill announced. "I'll- I wanna talk to him."

"There ya go!" Mabel whooped, turning them to the right. She stepped on the gas, propelling them forward and causing Bill's head to slam against the headrest. She smiled sheepishly when Bill scowled, rubbing the back of his head. 

Mabel then shook her head, eyes back on the road. They were twinkling with joy as she grinned. "You're just lucky I haven't told him yet so the both of you can have your moment," Mabel sang. 

"For that, I thank you personally, Mabel Pines," Bill grinned. "You might have just scored me sex for the night."

"The first one in years," Mabel snickered. "Betcha ten bucks that Dipper is going to demand on being top because you 'hurt his feelings'."

Bill elbowed her. "Lucky for him, I might just oblige as an apology," Bill sighed. 

Mabel laughed, shaking her head. Her laugh died out, but her smile stayed, bright as ever. "I always forget how sarcastic you are," Mabel giggled. "This is probably why you'd make an awesome sarcastic friend."

"But I wasn't-" Bill said in confusion.

"Oh look!" Mabel exclaimed, pointing to the large building looming over them. She parked in front of it, a parking meter still needing attendance. Bill's eyes enlarged, and he looked up in surprise. Wow, that was quick. Perhaps it was probably because of how fast and crazy Mabel was going. Huh. 

Quietly, Mabel handed him two coins. "Pay for our parking, go inside in apartment three-oh-four. He should be home," she beamed at him. 

"Mabel, but I- what if he-" Bill stammered.

"Screams at you? Slaps you? Slams the door in your face?" Mabel hummed. "Well, yeah, he'd probably do that but c'mon! You're Bill Cipher, you can do this! You _just_ asked me to bring you here," she groaned. 

Bill stared at her. "But what if he isn't home or he- he calls the police or-" 

"I'll handle it." She put a comforting hand on his knee. She looked into his eyes with a smile, assuring him that everything will be alright. Shooting Star had a way to calm people down, even demons. Bill was glad for it. "You'll do _fine._ Either way, I know he misses you. He'll calm down if it comes down to it. My brother is better than that."

Bill took a deep breath. "Alright."

So he got out the car, inserted the two coins on his way, and marched into the apartment building. The girl at the desk didn't even look up at him, head buried in a magazine. It reminded him of that red-headed chick Dipper used to have a crush on, causing his stomach to bubble with jealousy. 

He tilted his chin upwards, then squared his shoulders. He walked up the stairs, eyes flickering and gazing over the apartment numbers. 298, 299, 301, 302...

304\. Apartment 304. Dipper's apartment. 

He gulped, standing in front of the apartment door. He was standing right under a 'welcome home' mat, turning the mat dirty with his grimy boots he hadn't changed in two years. He kicked the tips of his boots, not wanting to put more of a mess inside Dipper's room than he had to. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. 

What if Dipper wasn't home? What if Dipper was asleep and he was interrupting his beauty sleep? Shit, what if he was-?

Too late now. Dipper had probably heard someone waiting at his door, as a "One second!" was called out from the other side of the door.

Bill almost turned around and ran right there and then. He knew he shouldn't but acting so frightened around Dipper, _especially_ around Dipper. The boy was his soulmate for goodness' sake! There was no need for him to act so scared. 

But he couldn't help but feel like a little kid about to be scolded by his parents as he heard someone run towards the door, the door jingling and rattling to someone's touch. 

Then it opened without warning and Bill held his breath, shoulders squaring as he made himself look more presentable. He folded his hands behind his back like a gentleman, waiting for Dipper's command. 

And in front of him stood a familiar tired looking brunet. His hair was a little bit more curlier, his eye-bags a little bit more pronounced, and his frown just a little bit more crooked. 

But Gods, Dipper looked perfect standing there, even with his over-sized shirt stained and his pajama pants lazily sagging. 

"Hey," Bill breathed. He could barely let out more than two words, seeing the love of his life stand there. Dipper could easily top Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love. And Bill, well- compared to him, Bill was like a peasant standing next to a king. 

But to his complete shock, Dipper simply gave him a once-over. Then the boy tiredly yawned, stretching his arms over his head, showing just that strip of skin on his stomach. Bill almost attacked him, but held his human hormones on a leash. 

He expected Dipper to yell. He expected tears, screaming, door slamming. But all he got was _this._

"Right...right...hi," Dipper mumbled, turning around. He walked back into his apartment, leaving the door wide open for Bill.

Confused, Bill stepped inside reluctantly. "Pine Tree? Hey, aren't you going to-?"

"Would you like green tea or red tea?" Dipper asked in exhaustion. He sounded like he just woke up. "Ah, who am I kidding. You always get red tea. 'Said it reminds you of the blood of your enemies, minus the blood." Bill couldn't help but be impressed. That was exactly what he wanted, plus what he would have said. He never said that to Dipper, has he?

Dipper walked over to his kettle, preparing their tea together. Dipper didn't even make eye contact with him as he prepared it, yawning in exhaustion as he did so. Not wanting to act awkward, Bill sat down on the two-person table behind Dipper, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He folded his hands in front of him, back rigid and eyes still on the back of his lover. 

"So, you'd never believe what happened today," Dipper rambled, as if Bill hadn't gotten up and left for two years. "Ugh, my boss is so _annoying._ So there's this new guy, right? Remember Rhydian? The stupid douchebag I kept telling you about? Yeah, so anyway, Rhydian comes up to this new guy, walking him around and shit, as protocol goes, then he comes up to _me_ because his best friend was-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Bill interrupted, blinking ever so slowly. "Dipper, Darling, are you sure you're alright? Do you need more sleep, my love?" he asked in concern. Dipper always got somewhat feverish when he didn't get more than three hours of sleep in one night. 

Dipper laughed, but it sounded somber, even to Bill's ears. "I'll go to sleep later, I just need to finish a new project," he assured Bill. He didn't even look behind him. "Anyway, so Rhydian, being the idiot he is, leaves me with the new kid. Like God, I feel bad for his best friend. I haven't even met her but holy shit, if Rhydian is her best friend, damn she's in big trou-"

"Dipper." Bill took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Didn't Dipper miss him? Didn't Dipper cry over him after just a month? Did the brunet just...just move on, just like that?

Yeah, of course he's happy that Dipper had stopped being depressed about him after a short while, because what person would want their lover to mourn over them forever, never being happy again? But this- this was ridiculous! One month of denial, then he moves on with simple text messages like he was never gone? Was Bill such an easy replacement?

Did Dipper not love him anymore?

His shoulders hunched, head dropping down until his chin touched his chest. He let out a pathetic sniffle. He hoped and prayed to the gods that his lover didn't hear him. The last thing he wanted to happen was for Dipper to know how madly he still was in love with him when Dipper clearly did not. A one sided relationship was worst than nothing, and Bill Cipher was having none of it.

"Dipper," he finally said again, voice slow and somewhat pleading. He lifted his head, but his lover (can he still even call him that?) was still turned, head dipped down to the kettle still boiling their tea. "Don't you know how long I've been gone for? I've been gone for two-"

"Twenty five months, fifteen weeks, and eleven hours," Dipper answered automatically, voice distant and cold. He scooted to the left, opening a cupboard and taking out two teabags, yawning to himself as he dropped them into two mugs. 

So he's been tracking how long Bill has been gone, by the hour even. It was hard for Bill to hold his tongue now, questions and arguments on the tip of it. 

"So anyway, after I get back-ridden with the freaking task of helping the new guy out even with three assignments due the next goddamn day, Rhydian comes back, all disheveled and messy. Christ, you would think that as a best friend, he wouldn't just fuck her senseless," Dipper laughed to himself. "Eh, that couldn't be right though. His best friend's a-"

"Sounds like to me that you're jealous," Bill purred. If Dipper was going to act like nothing wrong had happened, so was he. Even if his nails were digging painfully into his knees under the table. "That's alright though. I could fuck you senseless if that's what you always wanted. Consider it my gift."

Dipper, the old Dipper, would have snapped at him, sassing him with a new comeback that would make Mabel go, "Ooo, snap!" and hit Bill with her knitting tools. But instead, this cold person known as the love of his life didn't even flinch. Just waited for the kettle to stop hissing so he could serve their tea. 

"After that, two days later, I found out that my boss gave me a promotion-" Dipper began. 

"Congrats, darling!" Bill exclaimed, genuinely happy for Dipper. He didn't care how big the promotion was, only caring that Dipper was moving forward. And that made him happy. 

But Dipper didn't sound even remotely happy. Just monotonous, like he was forced to speak to Bill. He might as well have been. "Rhydian was _seething,_ Bill. He kept boasting that it would have been him if he didn't go on vacation to help sick kids in Africa. But everyone knew he was just spending the night to watch The Human Centipede with his girl- sorry, I mean _best friend._ Like seriously, they should just goddamn-" Dipper rambled. 

"Dipper," Bill said solemnly. 

Maybe it was the way he said it, or because Dipper wasn't expecting an interruption, but the brunet seemed to jump, shoulders hunched in anticipation. Then he relaxed, turning off the kettle after a long while. 

After a long silence that Bill let out for way too long, Dipper took two filled mugs over to where Bill sat, putting one across from him and the other in front of him. Dipper began to ramble once more, not once touching mug. 

Bill listened to him ramble about everything he knew, taking occasional sips here and there. His lover talked about his life like Bill coming to his apartment in the middle of the night was a normal occurrence, eyes over Bill's head. But Bill didn't dare look at what Dipper was looking at. 

"So after I watch the whole movie with Mabel, I go straight home, right? There's this guy standing in front of my doorway with a package, and I get all confused because I never get packages, you know?" Dipper began, a hand finally cupping the side of his mug. The other rested on the table, palm down. It took all of Bill's might not to reach over and put his own hand over Dipper's. 

"So what do you know when I open it? It's a goddamn care package from my Grunkles. Christ, I haven't talked to them in a while. But anyway, I open it and it's a bunch of stuff I left in the Shack that I forgot to get. No notes, no notice, absolutely nothing. You'd think they just sent it to make sure I was still alive myself." Dipper gave a mirthless laugh. His eyes were still behind Bill. "One of those things was an old love letter from you. Your first one, actually. The one you sent me because you were shy at first and you knew I still hated you for what you did?"

Bill's gut wrenched. But he refused for Dipper to see him be so affected by it, even though the boy clearly wasn't paying him any attention. "I kept reading it over and over and I don't know, Bill. I wanted to burn it but..." Dipper sighed. "It kept reminding me of how- how in love I used to be so I just- God, I...I kept it. I know it sounds selfish of me but I don't care. I just miss you."

"But I'm right here, Pine Tree," Bill soothed. He was a little confused by his choice of words, of course, but everything about this whole situation was confusing to the core anyway. 

"No, you're not," Dipper sighed once more. But his tone was much more sharper- _angrier_. "You're just a figment of my imagination so I could stay sane in this stupid world and I don't bust open like one of Great Uncle Ford's machines."

Oh. 

_Oh._

Bill's face fell. This whole time, Dipper had thought he was...

"Dipper, c'mon," Bill said quietly under his breath. His hand twitched on his knee, wanting to brush those curls away from Dipper's eyes. He wanted to hold Dipper's hand, to tell him that he was real and what they had was still real. "I'm real. I can prove it to you."

Dipper didn't respond. But his eyes flickered over to him for a heart-stopping moment before it came back over Bill's head. Dipper's face turned in disappointment, and Bill couldn't help but feel almost...empty. 

And in an instant, Bill's hand came over Dipper's, curling over the brunet's warm skin. It was so familiar, so comforting even to himself, that Bill almost drooped his eyelids, wanting Dipper to curl against him so they could go to sleep peacefully. 

But then Dipper tore his hand away from Bill's grip, looking angry and disappointed. Not towards Bill, but at himself. 

"No, I am having _none of that_ today," Dipper snarled. If Bill didn't know him enough, he would have never heard the hurt and utter sorrow in his Pine Tree's voice. 

"What?" Bill sputtered. "Pine Tree, what are you-?"

Then Dipper got up, storming angrily away from where Bill sat. In an instant, Bill was up as well, coming after his angered and confused boyfriend as any good person would. 

"Can we just talk about this?" Bill asked in exasperation. "Pine Tree, please-"

Dipper didn't respond to him, yet again. Instead he walked over right to the doorway, pulling his coat on and slipping a hat onto his head. His old pine tree hat. 

Bill stopped dead in his tracks, feeling woozy just standing there. When Dipper pulled on his coat, his hands outstretched so he could stuff them in, Bill had seen his left hand. There, on the ring finger, was his ring. The one that put brought up his hologram whenever Dipper felt lonely. 

"Pine Tr-" 

Dipper ripped open the door. But before he could step outside and stomp out the apartment building, someone stood in his way. 

Mabel was in the middle of knocking on the door, fist raised and ready for knocking. Her mouth was gaping open as well, like she was going to yell bloody murder. But whatever she had to say didn't come out. She was stunned as much as Dipper and Bill was.

She looked at Dipper, who stared back at her in silent question. Then she cleared her throat, looking behind him to Bill, who gaped at her wonderful timing. 

"Oh, Bill," Mabel said, shoulders slumping in relief. "I was wondering why it took you so long to talk to him. Of course, I had a hunch that maybe the two of you were already getting it on, but I just had to make sure you weren't stolen or anything. But I'll just uh, leave it to the both of you since you two are uh, going out together, it seems...?" Her words were slow and coated with question, unsure of how to proceed with the situation. That makes the both of them. 

"Right- uh," Bill answered sheepishly, rubbing his neck. "I was actually just-"

"He's..." Dipper began, his voice small and coated with rampant emotion. "He's right behind me. Is- isn't he?"

"Well, doi?" Mabel spoke in confusion. Her brows knitted together, inclining her head to the side in silent question directed to Bill. "You sure you haven't been taking any of my smile dip, Dipper?"

"Mabel," Dipper spoke in a hushed tone. His voice quaked, face pale and palms slick with sweaty. He looked about ready to faint, eyes wide and body pretty much shaking in fear.

"Y- you can see him too?"

Mabel, confused as much as Bill was, nodded almost hesitantly. Her eyes darted to Bill, but came back to her brother, right in time to see him collapse. 

"Whoa!" Bill shouted, dropping to the fall to latch Dipper. He broke Dipper's fall, the boy becoming a whimpering mess against his sweaty chest. 

Mabel covered her mouth with two hands, stepping backwards with eyes large as saucers. "Oh, Dipper!" she yelped. "Is he- is he-?"

"Go back to the car and-" _get him some medicine,_ was what he almost said. But instead, he made a split second decision and said, "-go back home to the Mystery Shack. Tell whoever you feel like bragging to that I'm back. I have things under control."

And silently, she brought her hands away from her mouth, nodding her head. She left the two inside the apartment after she closed the door shut behind her, knowing the peril tone in Bill's voice. And Bill was thankful for the time alone. 

"It's okay, it's okay," Bill comforted softly, voice hushing Dipper's building sobs against him. He rocked them back and forth, leaning downwards and bringing Dipper's body closer to him, pulling the boy's knees to his chest to make him smaller. Bill enveloped him in a warm embrace, rocking and swaying him in a soothing manner. "You're alright, Dipper. I'm here. I'm- I'm not leaving again."

The boy trembled, hands clawing into Bill's chest. His chest was soaked through with fresh tears, but Bill couldn't care less. He only cared for the boy crying his eyes out like a five year old, body trembling so badly that he could feel the shakes and each time Dipper had drawn a breath. 

Without another word, Bill scooped up Dipper in his arms, drawing the boy close to his chest as he heaved them to the nearest couch. 

He grunted, body crashing against the couch as he sat down. It creaked underneath two new weights as Bill held Dipper even closer, letting the brunet cry more into his shirt as both hands grabbed onto his dirty collar. As if Dipper was afraid Bill was going to leave again. 

Bill placed his chin on top of Dipper's soft curls, blinking away his own tears as his own arms tightened around his lover. Seeing him like this was like torture.

"Y- you were gone," Dipper whimpered against his chest, muffled by his shirt. "You were gone for so long, Bill. I- I thought you were dead. I thought you left me."

"I'd never leave you," Bill whispered. "But I'm sorry that you thought I did. I'm sorry I let you do this to yourself. Dipper, I am so, so sorry."

A bitter silence fell over the both of them, Dipper's sobs subduing as Bill murmured words into his ear, calming the boy down faster than anyone could. His quivering body was starting to hold steady. 

"How long?" Bill muttered into his ear. "How long since you...?"

"About three months in," Dipper told him softly. His grip on Bill's shirt tightened, almost suffocating the poor demon. "You- you came to the Shack late into the night with a- a ring and you proposed to me, and- and you gave it to me and for longest time I thought it was _real,_ Bill, and I- I-"

Bill hushed him. His fingers ran over Dipper's curls, serving to soothe his lover and to soothe himself. His heart would not stop beating maniacally in his chest like a frightened bird in a cage. "So you just let it happen? You didn't get help or anything?" There was no judgement in his voice, just pure curiosity. He knew that Dipper was thankful for that. 

"No," Dipper whimpered. "I- I was too scared that people would call me crazy and lock me up. And anyway, I kind of...liked it, you know? It was torture knowing that you were really gone and the one who kept responding to me with simple 'yes'es and 'no's was just fake. But even then I...I missed you around so I..." 

"You wanted to keep me around?" Bill guessed. He sighed heavily though his nose, not waiting for Dipper's response. His hand kept combing through Dipper's curls. In turn, Dipper still had his death grip on Bill's shirt. "When the Ghost Bill came over and proposed, what in the hell did you even _say_ , Pine Tree?"

Dipper shifted, allowing Bill to look down and see the ring resting perfectly on his finger. Like it belonged there. And looking down at it from this angle, it truly did. "What do you think?" Dipper snorted. "There were tears from me, some silence, your hologram thing cracked a joke, and I-"

"Give it back," Bill told him, disgruntled. 

Dipper's head snapped up to Bill, so fast that Bill barely had time to move his chin before he could chomp down on his tongue by accident. His eyes were wide, full of panic and confusion. 

"Why?" It was such a simple word, yet it held so much pain. 

"I said give it back," Bill huffed, repeating it with frustration. "Damn it, Pine Tree! I had everything planned out! You were supposed to sob, not cry, when I proposed!"

Dipper's body slumped in relief, and he began to laugh. He buried his nose in Bill's chest, breathing him in for the first time in years. "God, I missed you," Dipper whispered, voice shaking slightly with emotion. It even crackled, but Bill didn't find it funny. He found it endearing, and he soon found himself holding Dipper closer, his own nose buried in Dipper's hair. He closed his eyes, both lovers just sitting there in silence, taking each other's company almost greedily. 

"I love you," Dipper murmured. Bill let out a breathy sigh to his words. "I love you so, so much. Thank you- just _thank you,_ for coming back."

Bill let out a little laugh. "Did anyone ever tell you that your voice gets all shaky when you're so full of it?" Bill teased. He leaned backward, hands coming down to Dipper's face so he could look at his lover properly. 

"And I love you too, just in case you forgot," Bill mumbled. 

Dipper gave him a small smile in return. Before Dipper could saying anything in else, he yawned, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. 

Fulfilling his wish, Bill reached out with a hand and brushed his curls away from his face. Bill smiled back at him, watching Dipper's tired face fight so hard to stay awake just for him. And only for him. 

"And since I love you so much, I command you to go to sleep before I knock you out cold and make sure you do," Bill told him. He tried not to break out into a grin. 

Dipper shook his head, sighing. "Always the chaotic neutral one, I see. But yeah, I'm tired as fuck anyway."

He buried his head in Bill's chest, much to the demon's pleasant surprise. His arms automatically wrapped around Dipper's body, and he wasted no time picking up a blanket from the ground (conveniently) and placing it on top of their body. It just happens to be that Dipper was the perfect blanket for him and Bill was the perfect pillow for Dipper. 

Bill, thinking that Dipper was already asleep, closed his eyes and tried to sleep himself. But he was surprise to feel the brunet shift underneath him, wiggling around. 

A soft pair of lips pecked onto his. Bill tried not to open his eyes in case Dipper thought he was asleep.

"I could kick your ass right now for leaving me," Dipper murmured, kissing him again. 

This time, Bill kissed back, placing a hand on the nape of the brunet's neck to keep him in place. They kissed again, deeper and more heated. Bill was just a naturally lustful man, and it so happens that Dipper wasn't kissed for more than two years. It was his sole duty to make up for those missed years. 

Bill smiled into the kiss, putting all his love and passion into that one stolen peck. "I'm sure you would," he said, not sarcastically. He was aware of the boy being very much able to send him to another dimension. "But if you do that, I wouldn't be able to kiss you." To prove his point, Bill kissed him again. 

Dipper grunted when he pulled away, head drooping back down to Bill's chest. Bill was a little disappointed that they couldn't kiss more, but if a boy who hasn't been able to kiss for two years could hold himself on a leash, Bill sure could too. "Sadly, you're right," Dipper sniffed. Bill laughed. 

"But first thing in the morning, you make me breakfast fit for the gods, you clean my apartment and pack everything up to move back into the Shack, you wake me up with morning kisses like you usually do, you drive us there, and you're going to hang upside down on the tree next to the Shack so Mabel and I can bombard you with rocks."

"Damn," Bill commented, impressed by his Pine Tree's demands. He placed a kiss on Dipper's forehead. "Yeah, yeah, of course. Anything else you'd like, my love?" Bill teased.

"Hmm, now that you mention it," Dipper hummed. He looked up at Bill, eyes sparkling in the same way it usually did when he was so incredibly happy and contented. He cupped Bill's face, forcing the demon to look at him. Then Dipper was the one who kissed him.

The kiss felt too short in Bill's opinion, but it wasn't long until he got another one.

"Promise me you won't disappear for two years again?" Dipper murmured. Bill could tell he was completely serious. 

So to his question, Bill kissed him again. Yeah, they were kissing a lot. But who was to blame them, after one had left for two years with no explanation? And yeah, maybe he was taking advantage of this situation, but still!

"I promise," Bill mumbled against his lips.

His eyelids felt heavy all of a sudden and his brain pounded, pretty much demanding him to rest his had and sleep. And it wasn't hard with Dipper smiling contently at him, dropping his head to curl against Bill comfortably, breaths evening out carefully. 

Bill closed his eyes, resting his chin back on top of Dipper's head. His arms held onto Dipper like it was for dear life, body shaking silently. Now he was the one becoming emotional and he could barely comprehend it himself.

Because he promised, even before Dipper asked him to, that he was never _ever_ going to leave for twenty five months, fifteen weeks, and eleven hours ever again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, another ring concept on another story. Whoopee, what a surprise XD. Sorry, I just really wanted to write this before I march off to the outdoors *sigh*. 
> 
> PS: the months, weeks, and amount of hours were randomly chosen by a friend. I asked him for three random numbers and he answered with 25, 15, and 11, so yeeeah. So blame him for letting Bill be away for so long.


End file.
